Article: Time To Abolish Cribs?

[Bathsheba]

Marcellus... the author was probably just stating reported deaths and how they happened... I have heard of pets (mainly cats) smothering sleeping babies... and abductions... on the news, unlikely I agree but they've happend. I guess having a car accident in which your child is killed is also unlikely... but it happens.. maybe that was her point. I don't think was trying too hard to push her barrow... no more passionately than people who advise against co sleeping and their fear-mongering.

ETA: I know that not all parents should or can co-sleep.

[murraysmum]

ild co sleep with this bub but ild feel more comfy with her in a snuggle bed or a bassinete only cause im a heavy sleeper and ild be scared ild squash her

[Bathsheba]

Yep, when I really needed a deep sleep I would put my babies (mainly when they were newborns) into cradles that were placed right beside my side of the bed... so they could still hear me breathing... and me their breathing! I still call that co-sleeping We were like, 30cms away.

[murraysmum]

yeah same my ds1 didnt go into his own room till 5mnths and even then i ended up moving the cott into my room lol

[misty]

Honestly, I found this article just as inflamatory and bias 'against' cots as all those articles that display an extreme bias against co-sleeping. Really didn't think much of the article at all.

I have and do use both co-sleeping and seperate rooms (and cot) interchangably, depending on both myself and bubs. IMHO - promoting one method over another is a rediculous proposition. IT really depends on what works for the baby, the parents and the family as a whole.

[onthefly]

I don't think was trying too hard to push her barrow... no more passionately than people who advise against co sleeping and their fear-mongering.

This is precisely my point - why bother stooping to the same schtick?

[Bathsheba]

It's interesting... I didn't read it as inflammatory at all even though I partly used a cot for all my babies. Maybe I just don't take things that personally. I think lots of good points were raised. Many families simply do what their parents did... ideas are passed down... i think it's healthy to question ideas. With my first baby I got a cot just because I blindly thought "well... that's what you do when you have a baby, right?" It didn't even occur to me that there was any other option. It wasn't until i was incredibly sleep deprived that I thought of another solution... "ah stuff it... baby can sleep in here with me! I'm not getting up anymore in the middle of winter!" So I kept her in with me and then discovered how easy it was to breast feed in bed... it was a total epiphany! I thought I had invented co-sleeping! ROFL Because I didn't have any friends with babies at that point and had lived a childhood sadly devoid of contact with babies... or at least discussion about babies.

I just think the point of the article is to get parents to think about things... you don't HAVE to do things the way your parents did

[ss_storm]

Geez...she may have a point about co-sleeping but I don't think there is a need to make a cot sound like a death sentence for your baby!

I think this statement: "Why do we not abandon cribs, where so many babies have died, and many more have been injured?" is a bit off too...I don't know the statistics but I'm sure babies have also passed or been injured in co-sleeping situations as well. Just like every other method of parenting, co-sleeping is not going to suit everyone, just like bub sleeping in a cot isn't going to suit everyone.
If you want to co-sleep fine, go for it and enjoy (we co-sleep occasionally if DD is really unsettled or wont go back to sleep at 3am and it is lovely but I do still enjoy having the bed to ourselves), but don't make cots sound like a death trap! JMO but provided the SIDS guidelines are followed there should be no reason why cot sleeping isn't as safe as co-sleeping.

[widdly]

I think referring to cots as prisons was a bit OTT, but other than that a very interesting read, thanks Bath

[~clover~]

DD1 was in a cot next to my bed til she was 5 months old. Then in another room for a few months. Then back in a single bed in my room at 13 months, or in my bed, til DD2 was born when she was 3. Even then she often snuck in.

DD2 was my first real co sleeper. It scared me with DD1, but I wasn't given an option with DD2. Colic made sure of that! She was in our room til she was 9 months, then occasionally co slept til DS was born. Still does very occasionally.

I have no idea why I bothered buying a cot for DS, lol. Myself & 2 friends have cots set up that have hardly been used. DS sometimes goes into his after he's asleep for half the night. One of my friends only really used hers for day sleeps & even then rarely, the other has her DS in his now as she's due for another baby any day, but that is the only reason.

[boomba]

Thanks for posting Bath. Great article....I really enjoyed it.

With my first baby I got a cot just because I blindly thought "well... that's what you do when you have a baby, right?" It didn't even occur to me that there was any other option. It wasn't until i was incredibly sleep deprived that I thought of another solution... "ah stuff it... baby can sleep in here with me! I'm not getting up anymore in the middle of winter!" So I kept her in with me and then discovered how easy it was to breast feed in bed... it was a total epiphany!

Bath this was me! We have not used the cot since DS1 was tiny and it breaks everytime I think of how I put him in that cold lonely cot when he was born I think we will use it agin though but as a sidecar cot

I think its very true about how so many accidents and deaths occur in cots but your not told its unsafe...where as co sleeping is really frowned upon if a baby has an accident or dies...which brings me back to why dont we trust our instincts and lead with our hearts????

I know I would love a night where I dont wake up wiht a stiff neck and sore back from sleeping like the letter P, buttta the end of the day my baby is first in my life and he is going to be tiny for such a short time and I want him to feel safe and secure...please dont feel I am saying you love your baby less if they sleep in a cot.. I just feel this is best for my babies and family

[*Infinity*]

I've read the article a couple of times. I don't find it inflammatory, and I certainly don't take any of it personally. We choose not to co-sleep which is a parenting choice we are comfortable with for a number of reasons.

Bathsheba, I think if the author's intention was to get people to think about things, and question what has always been done, that is commendable. But after reading it a couple of times, I guess I feel like the author has lost a great opportunity to present the facts about the benefits of co-sleeping by using some very emotive language which is likely to alienate a lot of people. I'm with marcellus - I think she's just taken it that little bit too far.

Clearly the author is a passionate advocate for co-sleeping and is frustrated by the reactions of those that don't understand the value of it and choose to perpetuate myths and provide fear based arguments to parents to warn them of the dangers of sleeping together. I just feel she has sort of done the same thing in the reverse IYKWIM.

I guess my point is that I don't find it a balanced POV - when words and phrases like cold isolation, moral wrongness, traumatic, dangerous, lonely cages etc. are used its more likely to drive people away rather than allow them to read it and say, you know what, I kind of like this idea. But maybe that's a reflection on the way *I* prefer to receive information? I guess I would have appreciated the article and her advocacy for the practice of co-sleeping a lot more had it not smacked of such a biased view of the alternative - cot sleeping.

As for the judgement about working parents and the authors assumption about how they use their time, that sort of tipped it over the edge for me too (and I'm not a working parent either).

The danger POV is an interesting one. What choice that we make as humans going about our everyday activities does not involve an element of risk? There is always a spectrum and its up to us to inform ourselves, analyse those risks and make choices. I think we all accept that there are different benefits & risks to all manner of ways that we and our children sleep. We all have to weigh those up and make our decisions accordingly.

[~*Kat*~]

Ok I understand and respect peoples wishes to co-sleep and the artical, as attacking as it felt, has its points but I am a very restlesss sleeper and I couldn't do it with my DD as I was terrified of squishing her
I did have her in a bassinett/cradle for the first few months then I put her in the cot for day and bassinett for night for a while and then she was perfectly happy in the cot full time
My DD is a very independant and old little soul and up until last year she could not sleep in a room with another person she just wasn't comfortable
I dont know what I will do when the next comes along (when not if it happens, gotta be positive) I think it will depend on the baby and myself as well
I still have a cot and I want a new bassinett but we will wait until it happens to invest in a new 1

[Kailani]

Interesting article, and it reinforces my choice to keep cosleeping. Not because of all the scaremongering safety stuff about cots, but just that DS must really fret when he's in the cot and he would feel so secure and content in the family bed.

I love that DS is bunking with us, however I used to really dislike it. We tried to get him to sleep in the cot for months and months but he hated it and still does. He cries and cries and it breals my heart so I gave up and let him sleep with us and he has bbs on tap. Although I wish I had my own space and could sleep comfortably, I take great comfort in knowing that DS is happy and feels safe and secure. It really is a special feeling watching him sleep with one leg and one arm over me and having a comfort suck every now and then. Sometimes he will roll over and face the other way and I'll be so relieved that I can finally stretch out!

[Trillian]

An isolated baby has no protection from secret physical or sexual abuse.

biggest load of crap I have ever heard. Does she truly think that? Does she not realise that if a child is in the sights of an abuser that they do not have to be in a 'crib' for it to happen? And if that abuser happens to be a parent, what better place to have them sleep than in the family bed kwim? I think making assumptions like that with no solid proof is quite scary. Now I am all for co-sleeping if that is what you want and if it works for you (because lets face it, our babies do not read the same attachment parenting books as we do and not all children like to co-sleep) but she is hardly going to win support from anyone with statements like those.

[Bathsheba]

I wonder what studies or situations she has heard of to base her article on? I agree the language is emotive... but sadly awful things like this do happen to children. Co-sleeping isn't the solution to everything... but I still think that on the whole the public does have the perception that cots are safer places than parents' beds... generally speaking, obviously not in all cases.

[boomba]

Very true Trillian..i kinda dismissed that comment....as like you said abuse can happen anywhere and by anyone.

[Trillian]

Defnitely there is general suspicion of co-sleeping and it is considered to be 'alternative' now, but that is one hell of a way to get your point across.