How do you gently parent your kids (besides boobs, cloth nappies, sling wearing and BLS)?

I know there is the cliche that gentle parenting is all about letting your children run wild if you are an attachment parent or gentle parent, but I think thats a load of rubbish. I don't think that is parenting at all TBH. And gentle parenting on the emotional side is not just sitting back and letting them fend for themselves.

I think of myself as a very emotionally involved parent. And by that I mean, I try to nurture and understand every emotion my children may experience and give them the age appropriate tools to deal with that emotion. I don't stop this because I'm tired, or because I have guests over or because I'm at a shopping centre. My parenting NEEDS to be consistent even when I am sick. I might not be up for as many deep and meaningful conversations if I've got a head cold but it doesn't mean I can't listen or acknowledge or set boundaries, and yes sometimes I have meltdowns and lack patience. And y'know its not exactly a walk in the park, its hard work but I LOVE it. I love the rewards, I love how people compliment how well adjusted and emotionally mature my kids are. I love my daughters comprehension and ability to nurture ME when I'm feeling blue and when I feel guilty and say it's not her job I get a lecture from my 7 yr old (who is not afraid to speak her mind) that its not a job, and she should be allowed to make me feel better as I make her and how its good practice for her to be a mum - awwwww.

I have always talked to them as if they could understand me even from when they were first born, and people would look at me like I was a freak. I never spoke "baby talk" or talked down to them like they were mentally challenged even though half the time I knew they didn't quite understand. I have never talked about them as though they are too stupid to understand what I'm saying. I respect them as I would you or anyone else. Because thats the kind of respect I hope I can earn from them.

But the thing that always seems to crack me up is the impression that a non-smacking parent is a lazy one. Far from it, the effort I put in with my kids is from the time they wake up till the time they go to sleep is huge. And I am fully prepared to leave groceries at the store, or leave from a cafe mid catch up if my children need me. Whether they need to be reassured, entertained or even have boundaries reaffirmed. Thats MY job. That is what I am here to teach them. But I don't suffer for this, I still have fun and I love my life. I am not lonely and without social contact. But I know this for the first few years of their lives they need A LOT from us. And if we can give it to them their confidence and independence will soar and with that comes more independence from us. So on those days where I feel like if I don't sit down with 5 minutes peace for 5 seconds I might scream, I try and remind myself that this time is way more valuable and important to them than that 5 minutes. I can have a coffee another day when they aren't so tired... I can get DH to pick up these groceries later, and maybe I should have rethought attempting to grocery shop right before lunch and blood sugar levels might be low.

And to me gentle parenting is not about being a martyr nor is it about getting it easy. Its just different and its about how I can show my child that I respect them as who they are, regardless of stature and understanding and that I am there for them no matter what. I don't gentle parent because its easy for me, I do it because I personally think its best for them and so far I've been proven right. And I think for me I have a very strong emotional memory relating back to my own childhood and that probably encourages me to stick at it.

So, besides the physical stuff, how do you gentle parent?