I'm currently having some difficulty getting DS2 (10 months old tomorrow!!) to sleep at night, it's only this week that things have changed but it's been a looong week.
He is protesting every time i put him to bed of an evening and it's starting to upset me. He's not one to rock, last night (was trying to put him to bed at 8pm) he didn't even want a bf and squirmed in my arms until we left his room. He was in my arms when i was checking DS1 and he gave him a big huge grin He just didn't want to go to bed plain and simple i think.
I don't think it's his teeth, (we have a teething necklace) he got his first 2 teeth on Christmas day and to me he is not showing me signs of being in pain. Not even any red cheeks!!! If that's because of the necklace i'm impressed!!!!!
There is absolutely no settling him with out a fight and i just don't want to do it with him. I generally try and get him to sleep about 7:30ish but lately i do this but end up having him up again and finally get him to sleep about 9pm (will happily go to sleep with out protesting).
I'm posting in the Gentle Parenting area because i consider myself to be a gentle parent but as to what peoples opinions of Gentle Parenting involves i'm not entirely sure. I can't fight him like this every night if this is what he's choosing for himself at this 'stage' i can't do it to him and i can't do it to me. BUT bed time at 9pm for a 10 month old is too late in my opinion!! To be a gentle parent do i have to just let him choose when he decides to go to bed?
I never had these struggles with DS1 who is extremely palcid and when it was bed time off he went no questions asked. DS2 is very different and i am still learning how to achieve this with the same/similar ease.
I'm getting upset with myself and my capabilities, i don't want to put my little man through this but he needs to go to bed.
What do i do to achieve some calm of an evening???
I may not be of much help as I don't think an early bedtime is that essential when they are so young. When DS was that young, he would not go to bed that early either. I put him to bed when he started showing signs he was getting tired, and if it was 9:00 or 10:00, or even 11:00 then that was fine with me (any earlier and it was a battle I just did not want to have). As long as he was getting enough sleep through naps and such I didn't worry.
Now that he's is older though (and we have programs to go to in the morning) we have made bedtime earlier since we have to get up earlier. We just gradually moved the bedtime up earlier and earlier in 15 minute increments. 8:30pm is still the earliest though that he will go to bed, but he sleeps until 8:30am and still has 2-4 hours in the afternoon. Works great for us.
I have a friend whose 3 children are in bed at 6:30pm every night. This works great for her but to me that is way too early as it means they wake up at 5:30am. I am not able to wake up that early.
I think you're doing great and I think that whatever works for you is best. Try not to worry too much about what the clock says and what time you think he should be in bed by. He'll eventually start getting sleepy earlier.
it's possible your little man is going through a wonder week - key signs are an upset sleep routine and a need to be close to mum (or dad) all the time!
i have found my DD is doing similar (and she too is approaching a wonder week) - she is refusing her afternoon sleep for hours on end - doing my head in - but we're working with her instead of fighting it - i know we can work on a more solid routine later...
is he maybe getting too much sleep during the day or waking up later in the afternoon so that when bedtime rolls around he is just not as tired. If this is the case then maybe wake him up half an hour earlier from his day sleeps or do something in the arvo to tire him out and use up the energy like have a little play outside before dinner chasing after a ball or after dinner. At 10 months old you could plonk him down on a blanket (even though if he is crawling he probably won't stay there) with some toys and stuff, a change of scenery might be enough to get him a bit more tired because there is more too look at.
Otherwise just follow his cues for now and slowly put him to bed a bit earlier every few days and eventually get to a time that you are happy with...
Sounds a bit like my DS! As soon as we hit the bedroom its partytime! I've given up on the set bedtime thing. Instead he goes down about 4 hours after his afternoon nap (if its a good one of say 1.5 hours) or 3 hours after if its a short one, i.e 30 minutes and that works so much better! I tend to cave if its too much of a battle and let him get up for a little longer and try again 10 - 15 minutes later and this has almost never backfired on us!
Thanks ladies, what you say does help. Sorry about the meltdown
Twin sister, reading your expereince and from living mine i think i would be willing to give what you do a try. DS1 was just ready for bed by 6pm every night so i am new to the protesting and adjusting to the later nights sleep. I'm trying my best to understand what it is that DS2 wants. Thanks so much
Briggsy's girl it could be a wonderweek (although i actually hadn't heard of that expression before), he's a little bit clingy at the moment
Thanks for the other suggestions also, i'm going to give it all a try to hopefully not have to have tears every night. Hopefully it's just for as short while
Good luck to you too Olive, i hope it's short lived for you also
Help! Don't want to fight to get him to sleep...
He just didn't want to go to bed plain and simple i think.
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