Confusion and small vent..LONG

[Rouge]

I dunno about this. TBH, and this probably makes me a bad person if I were in that situation I would be trying to avoid this parent/child combo at all costs. Purely because I have seen how easy it is for behaviour to rub off onto our own children and as much as we try hard to teach our children the right thing, battles come and go that can be challenging enough with regards to parenting the last thing I want is to add someone else's issues to that mix. I also would be sticking up for my child, in a gentle way, as I often see when I'm out and about either the parent that does nothing waiting for the other child's parent to step in or you see the overprotective banshee mother who really goes overboard by screaming or belittling the child which is completely unnecessary and hypocritical because I'm sure if it were in reverse that parent would got ballistic if someone did that to their child. So I would be sure to show Esme that you will protect her from situations like that, but in a gentle way show her the tools to use herself so she doesn't lead by example and use the tools that this child chooses to use. It also shows a child that she is just as valuable as another by having her boundaries and space respected, when that falls to the wayside you are more likely to see confidence issues.

I wouldn't be rude to the mother, or try to isolate her, but I wouldn't try to fix or change the situation because I have a FIL who has very similar parenting techniques due to similar circumstances and whilst I love him to death his lovely wife has tried to encourage him to be different over 30+ years and he's still the same with his grandkids... He loves them so much he is scared of impacting on them in a negative way so he tries not to impact at all.

As for how I would interact with the child I would treat the child as I would treat my own, I would be firm but fair and if the mother is prone to talking for the child I would try and get in first. I would also remove my child from the situation if the mother couldn't stop their child from hurting mine, so say we are all sitting down in close proximity and the child is upsetting mine I would try distracting that child, encouraging that child to do the right thing and then if that didn't work I would move away, as thats how I would want my child to deal with that situation when she was 3 or 4 at Kinder. And I'm always thinking about the bigger picture. If you want to concrete certain behaviours then you need to start at the beginning. I would also praise the child for sharing and praise my child for sharing too. Often its something simple like praise which can change a child's whole outlook on a situation.

I feel so sad for this family as I'm sure the mother's heart is breaking on a daily basis, and she is probably riddled with guilt over the smallest thing. As for the child he is probably very confused.

Goodluck hon,

ETA: I'm a bit slow today... just read she overpraises so praise may not work. Which is so sad, because when used correctly it can be the most useful tool there is. Unfortunately this makes me come back to my first statement, avoid at all costs. For me its just not worth it.