Coping with the negativity

[BekZ]

Maz - When you get those looks remember that they are not walking a mile in your shoes and that they don't have the intelligence to realize that not everyone does it the same way as them

[Mrs Shrek]

Maz I feel your pain. I don't get why people look at us "hippies" strangely though. Everything you've described about how you parent, sounds logical and sensible and gentle and loving. That's kinda how I deal with this stuff - I look at the mainstreamers like they're the ones being weirdos and if I'm questioned about stuff I turn it around on them and question them. e.g. "Are you STILL feeding him????" me: "... *puzzled look* uh, yeah - he's only 3!!!" then I roll my eyes.


Seriously though, I know it's hard when your values are questioned. It's so much more difficult to swim against the tide. Gentle and thoughtful parenting takes so much strength sometimes, not just in the actual parenting but in the justifying and the explaining to other people. We have to be really thick-skinned and really confident in the way we do things.

Good luck hun you'll be right. One strategy I have learnt for growing a thick skin is to visualise a force-field around you, with their looks and comments bouncing right off. Big hugs to you xoxo

[LionsandBears]

Can you get a t-shirt that says "I have no tolerance for judgemental know-it-alls."

Sounds like they've got a lot of time on their hands to be worrying about how you raise your kids. Do they purse their lips like cats' bums too? If the kids are not running around someone's house screaming and jumping on the furniture and are well behaved and respectful, then who cares what someone's parenting choices are?

What concerns you the most? What someone thinks of you? Or that they're small-minded idiots who haven't grown out of whispering about some other kid in the classroom? That they feel free to make comments about your parenting style while you bite your tongue? That you don't have a good come back for their comments?

I know it's uncomfortable to deal with, but you know you're doing the right thing and your kids are well loved and happy. When you hear them whispering on the other side of the wall, stick your tongue out and give them the birdie. Don't pretend to smile at them while they judge you. Just do your thing and feel how proud you are of your kids and yourself as a Mum. And have a big drink or choccie to reward yourself when you get home.

Meanwhile, when someone buts in with free advice, ask them to please keep their opinions to themselves, you're not interested. Let's agree to disagree is always a good one. Or just give them the death-stare. I'm not in your situation yet, but I've always been good at the death-stare - pretty effective whenever someone oversteps the line