I'm with you Kazzo. I'm the first of my generation to have kids in my family so there haven't been little kids around for a while and EVERYONE before me has smacked. Apparently 'it's the only way'. At least I don't have any friends who do it so I'm not faced with that. I do wonder what my friends will be like as parents when they have kids and how that will change our relationship. I expect that, like you, I will find it difficult if they hit their kids.
I don't smack, and I don't threaten to. I try not to threaten with any punishment at all (although I fail at this a lot). I just don't think punishment teaches the right thing. And physical violence from anyone is just not on in my house, whether you call it smacking, hitting, or 'discipline'.
My big cringe comes when the girls are going crazy in the background and i am on the phone to my mum and she tells me: "to just give 'em a smack...that'll sort them out"
Makes me feel sick to my gut.
I can count on one hand the times that i have smacked DD1 and each and every moment is one that i regret (even when one of them was a potential life-risk moment..she ran on the road and out of shock i dragged her back and smacked her...it was so inappopriate of me and made her scared of me rather than the actual danger of running onto the road).
I am so thankful that i managed to find a gentle parenting approach. it has transformed our family and it has been i reckon, a learning experience for me and for DH, we had to unlearn so many of the parenting principles that we were brought up with just so we could achieve the family harmony that we wanted and needed. it is constant work for us though as some of those patterns are so ingrained...like the threat for example (threat of getting angry, threat of going home etc). I hate threats and I can just see the insecurity in DD1s eyes when it does happen. It is so much more beneficial for us to explain things out (ie why her behaviour is driving me bonkers and how it is making us feel etc. she has responded in amazing ways and it gets easier and easier with time).
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