thread: Do you judge other peoples parenting?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Sunny QLD
    65

    My thoughts are: There is no such thing as a PERFECT PARENT each and everyday we are learning new ways to deal with things and how to raise our children. I do judge other peoples parenting I am not proud of it. When my first child was born friends and family would judge me " your a first time mother u don't know anything, you should be BFing you shouldn't be going back to work rah rah rah" I felt I was not a good parent and I did not I know that if what I was doing was right or not. Everyone is so quick to judge others parenting skills, But have we ever stopped and looked in the mirror first. Can any of us really say that our parenting skills are 100% and that there is nothing we can do a little better? I know that there are a few things I could do better.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    I think I do my best not to judge, or if I find myself doing so I look for underlying reasons, simply because I was pre-judged and judged and found wanting so much by my own mother for so long. Let alone other people - although I think I was a bit more sensitive than I needed to be inside when strangers commented.

    Just yesterday at the station I saw tiny babies in forward-facing pushchairs. The mums were young, huge rolls of fat hanging out their clothes (yuck!), smoking, chatting amongst themselves and had been shopping, not talking to baby... you know what? They are copying what they learn. Maybe what their parents did, what all their friends do... they think it's normal. I can't condemn them for being different to me. I can think "I'm glad I have DS facing me as often as possible, that we like chatting, that my clothes cover me up in this cold weather, that I aren't addicted to smoking..." but I can't judge and condemn. Because, as mumma lion said, I'm not perfect. And I'd hope for some compassion when I stuff up too. And a lot of people thought I was odd for having a baby over one facing me so I could chat to him, think I'm odd for wearing a 2-year-old on my hip so we can chat, actually think I'm odd for just enjoying DS's company and wanting to be around him!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Taking a ride on my grdonkey :D
    2,716

    ^ Haha, I'm convinced everybody thinks I'm a complete weirdo because even though DD's stroller faces forward (although that's used very rarely, usually I pop her in a trolley and she can either stand up and walk around in it or sit in the seat up close to me), I still talk to her constantly while we're out and about. I get some strange looks, but I agree - I enjoy chatting to DD and if that makes other people think I'm strange, then nuts to them

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    in a super happy place!
    1,008

    GM - I'm the same as you. I talk to DS constantly and I don't care if people think I'm crazy!

    On the topic - I would honestly answer yes. We have a track that goes past our house that leads up into a rougher part of town, and I constantly see people going past with kids wearing no shoes and socks on cold days, and swearing and screaming - so mentally I do judge. I also feel greatful that I don't choose to live my life like that and I really feel like I am good mum.

    In terms of judging when kids run out onto roads or have tantrums etc, I would say I hope I don't judge since becoming a mum..especially since I was looking at clothes in a shop the other day and I turned around and DS was gone . Blind panic for 5 minutes until a lady said "I think he's over there". I don't give a hoot if she judged me, I was too busy judging myself.