Don't Know WHAT to do

[luminosity]

Ok, so I'm very much the 'gentle parent' in regards to: I feed my bub to sleep, we co sleep , I am VERY against controlled crying/comforting....

My daughter has been on me like GLUE the past week to the point where I even have to take naps when she does and go to bed at night when she does and I have NO TIME to myself AT ALL! The most she can handle being out of my arms is 10 mins...

I have been trying tonight to get her to sleep in her own cot and I haven't left her side at all and have been picking her up for a cuddle every 5 mins or so for comfort before putting her back in the cot and stroking her hair and shhhing her etc.

She has been crying HORRIBLY and I am just so upset and angry that I don't know what do do anymore! I just need some time to myself... a half hour would be fantastic right now! I had to wake her dad up, who was asleep on the couch and he is with her now and I'm crying right now because I am at my wits end.

Ok, so no controlled crying here.....can someone, anyone tell me what I do bleedin do instead!? Or does gentle parenting mean parent has not a second to themselves?

Sorry for the rant...it just seems as though it's controlled crying or it's give everything to the bub and to hell with the parents sanity...

[Liz]

It's so hard when you start to reach the end of your tether isn't it I don't know how old your bub is, it could be a developmental stage, or possibly teething? I found DS was like that, very clingy and waking frequently etc when he was teething, or just before learning to crawl or something. I think it was the age of separation anxiety too.

Sounds like you're doing everything you can, and well done on trying to meet your bub's needs rather than letting her cry it out.

If you're concerned, a trip to the dr could help in order to rule out anything that might be bothering her such as an ear infection, or reflux or something.

I hope you can get some sleep tonight. Sometimes it just takes that extra bit of sleep for us to be able to cope with things until getting out of this 'stage'. Do you have a hugabub or something similar that you could strap bub to you with and crash out in a recliner or something? (stops bub rolling off, and gives the comfort of being close to you) and you could both get some sleep.

I'll send some *sleepy vibes* your way.

oh - and welcome to BB!

[Lulu]

How old is she hun?

[luminosity]

Hi guys, again sorry for the mad-woman rant...
I forgot to mention she turned 8 mths a few days ago ...and yes, that second tooth is just under the surface and she has the tail end of a cold...so yeah, she's been VERY clingy...I just find that if I don't get even a half hour of quiet time to myself, where I know she is asleep and I can relax...then that's all I need to recharge and go for the next rounds. Hence, I am just not wanting to be a mum right now and that's awful for me to feel that way...

I am just surrounded by peopke right now saying "wean her...", "give her formula for the feed right before bed", "gotta get her off the habit of feeding to sleep" "co-sleeping is not good" etc. My Fiance and I are getting married in Hawaii in July (15th) and he wants to go for a 3 day honeymoon and at this stage it's gonna be impossible for anyone to look after her because she does feed to sleep and she does co-sleep with me and feed whenever she wants through the night....Just feelin the pressure, that's all...

Added to that, she has disovered she loves to bite my nipples when she is breastfeeding...she really clamps down and just bites and won't let go. Last night she did it 4 or 5 times until I just burst into tears.

[luminosity]

I'll send some *sleepy vibes* your way.

oh - and welcome to BB!

Thanks Liz

[Liz]

I'd put my money on it being that nasty little tooth ready to pop through. That explains the biting too. Hang in there.

As for your 3 day trip.. you might be surprised.. my DS fed to sleep for what seemed like forever (he grew out of it in his own time altho still does like a feed before sleep! just doesnt' NEED it) but my mum if she needed to could get him to sleep by having a musical toy or something and rocking him in her lap on the lounge, or even singing to him. Whoever is minding her might be able to find a way to get her to sleep. Perhaps do a couple of practise sessions to see if the babysitter can get her off to sleep gently.

Oh, and I soooo know what it's like to hear those comments about formula and sleeping habits. *sigh*. Just try to nod & smile. Unfortunately they usually are well meaning comments, but they don't realise how demoralising they are when you're trying to stick to what you believe in.

Hope you have a good night tonight. Maybe dig out the panadol out for that tooth

[widdly]

So sorry to hear that you are at the end of you tether, i know that is not a good place to be at all. I dont have any great ideas for you to make things easier. I have a 2 year old who refuses to sleep at night unless i am there and i have everyone telling me to just let him scream, which i am not comfortable doing either. It is so hard to be a gentle parent and do whats best for the child instead of whats easiest for us, but you know in your heart that the effort you are putting in now is going to create a wonderful huma being. I think maybe a sling would help you, at least then you have your hands free, and maybe bub will sleep in the sling at night til you go to bed. Do you ave your DH around much in the evenings? Even if you go for a walk or have a nice hot bath or shower for half hour without bub.

I hope things get easier for you soon

[sushee]

Beore you even said how old she was, I was going to ask if she was 8 months old! I remember that stage well, I called Charlie my Velcro boy, he was incredibly clingy!

Quite a few mums in my Baby Buddies was complaining of the same thing at that time. I'm almost absolutely sure it's a developmental stage, and while it was bloody backbreaking, they do grow out of it in a month or so.

Big hugs, hun, BTDT and it was pretty hard not to go mental, but rest assured you're doing a bang up job of being the kind of mummy she needs right now.