The dreaded "r" (routine) word

[Nai]

We did (and still do) have a routine driven child but she seemed to have a pattern pretty much from the start. It was encouraged as she was slightly jaundiced and quite small so we had to wake to feed every 3-4 hours to flush out the jaundice. Anyway she was in a definite 4 hour cycle early on, however I found that she tended to sleep better with some motion. So I always made sure at least one of her day sleeps was in the pram and we would go out for a 2 hour walk every day - rain, hail or shine. This has added benefits as she will still sleep in her pram anywhere which is a godsend!! Plus the exercise did me good as well.

I was given Tizzie Hall's Save Our Sleep book and found it to be very prescriptive and not really suited to our lifestyle however it was really useful in providing information on how much sleep DD should be getting at whatever age she was at.

[Trillian]

If you wrote down what he does every day for a week, you will already find that he is probably somewhat in a 'routine' or 'pattern' of doing things (give or take 1/2hr or so either side) and you are doing really well at reading his cues for feeding and sleeping - so give yourself a huge pat on the back for that - it can be really hard to work it out. And some babies will only ever have short naps too - they sleep as much as they need to, sometimes it will be longer and sometimes it will be shorter.

I think people ask about routines because they *think* that's what they should ask or they assume that's just what you do - there is far too much pressure on mums about this and it's just silly.

I found that we just fell into a lovely way of doing things and it just worked so well for us and as each baby came along they just fell into the same pattern of doing things which made the early weeks of transition from 1 to 2 to 3 children easier. Back then though I had no idea I was following a 'baby led routine', I was just feeding them when they were hungry and putting them to sleep when they were sleepy and I can't figure out for the life of me why anyone would want to impose strict regimental 'routines' on them - we eat and sleep when we are hungry and tired, so why can't a baby?

Well done and keep up the good work. You will find a lot of mums here that follow gentle parenting so if you ever have any questions or just need a bit of support, there will always be someone here.

[Lucy]

Very similar to Sherie, my 3 all fell into a "groove" by themselves.

With Olivia, my first, I didn't really understand/appreciate it, but then when I had Charlie I realised that he too adopted a very similar groove, and so did Lexie.

All 3 of them kind of fell into a pattern of wake up, feed, play, feed, sleep. I couldn't/wouldn't "time it" as such with a clock, but by around 12 weeks the pattern was predictable.

Of course, as they grow, the pattern shifts a little in as much as they are awake and playing for longer, and sleeps vary depending on teeth & growth spurts etc, but the basic pattern remained the same.

HTH

[Lulu]

Oh bugger to the routine people. Although I think alot of people are just making conversation when they say that - "is he a good baby?" etc.

I am def one for letting baby fall into a routine. My own thing was not to worry about the R word until they are at least 12 weeks. Anyway, even if they are one of the routine from birth babies, teething wrecks everything....

[Rahjah]

Ohhh thank you so much. You have all really helped me just chill out and believe in what I'm doing...I had a bit of a confidence dive there but you're all right, baby-led makes sense.

Anyway we've been out for a walk this morning, brekky and then looking through some car yards and DS has been in and out of his pram, the car, meeting people - and as a PP said, we just encourage him to sleep when he's tired or be awake when he's awake. It's all good, he's been perfect.
And there's been no routine in sight.

Thanks - I love this Gentle Parenting thread.

[Snacks]

Hey there Rah,
Sounds like Kades has a great pattern going - 10 min feed, up for about 1.5hours, sleep for about an hour... Sounds great! I'm not going to say anything new here, just that when people talk to you about routines, they are probably really thinking about older babies.
Sorry if I offend anyone - perhaps routine-talk doesn't belong in this thread, but Natalie really benefits from her routine these days, but she is 15 months old! And some days the routine gets chucked out because we have stuff on. I think that's ok - its teaching her that life doesn't always go the way you plan The routine is only useful IMO if you don't obsess over it. It is there to make everyone's life a little easier, not harder! If it is hard to get into, it is not worth it. And if it stresses you out, its only going to stress bubs out too.
Just wanted to say, whacko Babe, you're doing such a great job. Keep following your instincts because you know the best way to raise your boy.

[Rahjah]

Thanks lovely

I would hope to be using the "r" word when he's older - I think kids DO need predictability for sure to some degree - I guess just before 3 months it's likely to be a hard line to push them into it.

But....we'll get there as he grows no doubt.

would love to catch up with you guys sometime, Hope Natty is doing well