The dreaded "r" (routine) word

[Rahjah]

Hey Ferny welcome to BB

Sasa thanks. This has resurrected an old thread but recently I started a new one relating to other peoples critiques of our parenting and vice versa. It's a tough one and unfortunately I don't have too many Gentle Parenting people around me! So BB is a lifesaver to read how other's are doing things

How did you work to get your 6 mth old into the cot? I've wondered that. DS is going great these days - sleeping well at nights and most day sleeps are going well, at predictable times, but either in our bed or on his POOH quilt in the sun room. He sleeps so well there. I've wondered what will happen one day re moving him into the cot in the day.

i started to do it a month or so ago and it was going really well but personally I like the way things are now cause I can lay down with him. But when he starts rolling and crawling etc it will be harder! I'll probably need him to be contained! LOL. So I'll be interested to hear how it went for you?

Ferny hope you like it in here!

[sunshine_sieben]

Well, it was a little trial and error. To be honest, the main thing was for me to learn how to pick her up from my bed and out her down into the cot without waking her up. It took a few goes the first night and then she slept a 7 hour stint!!! A feat yet to be repeated ;-) I never let her cry it out in there. The next day I tried to do it during the day, but she resisted, kept waking up, etc. That evening my own anxiety seemed to have transferred to her and she didn't want to be put down. I was really adamant that she has to sleep in the cot now because she had crawled off my bed 2 days before (that was the reason I went out and bought a cot) and even had a black eye, the poor wee soul. So after a couple of failed attempts I actually let her cry for a little while. But I was sitting next to her (crying myself) trying to pat her and comfort her which didn't work at all. I was a mess after about 10 minutes of that and gave up. I don't know how people can handle that. It was the most awful thing I have ever done in my life. I will NEVER do it again. She slept in my bed that night. But the next night she was easy to transfer to the cot again. And now she does most of her daysleeps in the cot (unless she sleeps in the car seat or grandma & grandpa cuddle with her). In the evenings she sleeps in her cot but once she wakes up for boobie (mostly between 1-2am) she comes into my bed. I am however going to attempt night weaning next week to encourage her to sleep through. She has slept so well until the last couple of months (4-5 hour stretches). But with teething and seperation anxiety at their peek right now, things are not quite so peachy.

I found the easiest way to put her down was to pick her up from the bed with her head resting on my wrist and my other hand supporting her bum. I would then rock her for a minute to resettle adn then gently "roll" her out of my arms and into the cot. So she was lying on her side (she has always slept the best when lying on her side or tummy). This way I didn't get my hands stuck under her body which is the mistake I made in the first couple of days. Getting them out was a surefire way to wake her up.

She still doesn't self-settle, a fact that would cause criticism from most CIO proponents. But I am sure that she will do it in her won time. I can settle her a variety of ways (rocking her to sleep, driving in the car, feeding, cuddling on the bed, etc.) and sometimes she will stay in the cot these days even if she wakes up while being put into it. Other times she will protest straight away.

Another thing that really helped me was the dummy. She has always had a really strong sucking reflex. In the early months, she would have nights where she wanted to be constantly attached to my nipple. And I usually let her. I'm a lazy person at night and did whatever necessary to get the most sleep :-) She HATED the dummy. She'd suk on everything she could get her hands on, but the dummy she only ever spat out. But shortly after the transition to the cot, she started liking the dummy. and she still does. Only for sleep, though. So these days when I put the dummy in her mouth, she knows it's time for sleep and usually relaxes instantly. When she wakes up, often it is enough to just pop the dummy into her mouth again, and she'll go to sleep again.

All these things have worked for us in the first 12 months of her life. But to be honest, I am a little anxious to make her "more convenient" now, cause she has some nights lately where she wakes up at least once per hour, which is seriously affecting Dh and I. I would still not do it at her expense. I won't ler her cry. I will merely try some gentle encouragement (like rocking her back to sleep when she wakes at night rather than just offering her the breast, or offering her a bottle of water in case she's thirsty). She should have grown out of the need for night time nutrition, it should only be a habit now and a need for comfort. I will try and encourage her to find comfort in other things, not just take her sole means of comfort away...

If anyone has any tips on how to do this gently, please let me know.

All the best, Sasa
xox

[sunshine_sieben]

Oh, and by the way, some people opt for a double mattress on the floor instead of a cot. This way you can lie down with them like you do it now, but they are sleeping in their own bed, by themselves. Cause it's on the floor, they can't hurt themselves when rolling out.
Some people go straight to a toddler bed with guardrail and once their bub can stand, they teach them how to climb out of the bed feet first
There are a million different ways...
Others use guardrails on their own beds or put lots of pillows on the floor surrounding the bed. They do learn pretty quickly that crawling over the edge is not a good idea.

[Rahjah]

Yes! Now that I'm here, I'm wondering why on earth we bought a cot cause I can't get in it! Well that's not entirely true. I have been known too but it's not real convenient, LOL

You sound very much like me I have to say. Since I wrote that last post, our Merino Kids sleeping bags arrived, and life has changed totally. DS loves them, is sleeping really well - and biggest win ever, likes to go to sleep on his own in his sleeping bag during the days. It has been consistent for ALL his day sleeps for 3 days now. I can't believe it. I sound excited now, but the first day I was shocked and kinda annoyed at how disposable I am! Haha. But it's a great and very surprising development.

He had one cot sleep yesterday but has been on our bed, putting himself to sleep in other days -so this week my goal is to see how he'll go in the cot. I am kind of tempted to get rid of the thing though. It seems so isolated for him even though it is a safety issue. Well. It will be.

Re the dummy thing- our DS is like that too, he loves the dummy and relaxes straight away. But he'll only take it if he's ready for sleep, he's not interested at other times. So that's a good pointer. He went through a few days of waking every hour ( I thought I was dying a slow death!) and I was worried it was a dummy issue but decided - he doesn't wake FOR the dummy. He wakes for some other reason and the dummy helps him back to sleep quickly. If we didn't have it, I think he'd be much harder to settle.

Anyway I think now his temp is regulated with wool through the night he is much happier. Yay us, this week everything is working. I guess it just changes so regularly for one reason or another you can't get too complacent or comfortable hey!

Sorry I'm not much more help re the night waking. I think if it lasted much longer I'd be on here demanding help (!!) but at the time, I just suffered through it and figured for whatever reason, DS needed me. So I just had to do it. But an older bub - I don't know. Separation anxiety is not something I'm looking forward to...

xx