I have not been in a similar situation as I have always had full support for the way I parent. I am sorry to hear of what you are having to contend with though.
I guess the way you deal with it depends on the relationship you have with your mum. I personally would tell my mother clearly (perhaps before I left for the trip) that I fully respect her as a mum, I respect the things she did when she had young babies and the way she chose to parent. (Perhaps your mum is feeling that you are challenging her parenting skills in a misguided way). I would tell my mother that I am really happy with the decisions I have made about how I parent as they are well researched and well thought out. Sometimes I may need to vent, but that is all it is, a vent. Letting things out. I do not expect a solution to these vents necessarily but I do appreciate an ear to listen! If this is not possible to do, this is fine, I will vent elsewhere (BB is great for that). I welcome advice and support of course, but I do not need negativity and dismissal of my parenting and my approaches.
I would lay ground rule clearly but make sure mum understood it was not an attack on her parenting.
However, I do understand that not all relationships work in a way where this would be effective. If your mother will not take this seriously, you could either stock up on info and shoot out evidence for all of your approaches. Try googling "attachment parenting confidence" to prove how attending to your child's needs is important to developing their self-esteem and self confidence. But this does sound like a pretty exhausting way to spend your time visiting your mum.
If it comes down to it, I would simply say,The basic principles of attachment parenting result in parents being responsive to a baby’s needs. Parents who respond to baby’s cries and hold a baby frequently are fostering self-esteem in the child. The baby quickly learns that his needs are important and that he will be cared for and loved by his parents.
How a parent interacts with a baby also helps lay the foundation for a healthy self-esteem. Parents should react with kindness and compassion to a baby’s negative emotions, like fear, anger and sadness. Likewise, sharing in the baby’s discoveries and joys teaches the baby that he is important and likeable.
Read more: "Building a Child's Self-Esteem: Attachment Parenting, Childhood Accomplishments & Unconditional Love | Suite101.com"
As well as : I am very happy with the way I am doing things mum
FWIW, I think you sound as if you are doing a really great job, and a happy baby is all the proof you really need!
ETA: Spoilt little brats are not a direct result of responding to your child's needs.
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I haven't been able to change his mind, and his narky comments usually end up with me saying something like "I'll do it how I want, You're not the one who gets up in the middle of the night so shut the hell up" LOL. I wouldn't recommend speaking to your mum like this though, hehehe.
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