Our little Jem has been having lots of temper and hitting out at her dad and I lately. We have been trying to stop it by asking her to say sorry straight away and then offering a hug and kiss. She loves hugging so much that she will often stop with that. Sometimes she is just so determined tho that nothing gets thru to her. When that happens we put her in our bathroom and close the door for about 30 seconds or so. then we open the door in a crouch position, ie eye level with her, ask for an apology and then tell her we love her and give a hug and kiss. We just found we needed something to break the cycle other than a smack cos neither of us like hurting her. We also let her have her way on things that don't matter so we arn't always in conflict with her and remember what battles are worth fighting.

Anyway, good luck. It isn't easy I know. But you arn't alone. Kids are like this and we just need to communicate a better way of relating
I had to check to make sure it wasn't ME that wrote all of that! Lol. A lot of that is the same her with DS, except we put him into his bedroom. I also open the door crouched at eye level and ask him to say sorry. He then gets a hug and we tell him that we always love him.

Also, I totally agree with picking your battles. At this age they are really testing limits and boundaries and it's easy to get caught in a situation where you are battling them constantly unless you prioritise your battles. For example, DS wanted an apple a couple of days ago, so I got the fruit bowl down and said he could take one. Well he took two out. I asked him to put one back but the tell-tale signs of a tanty started erupting. Then I realised it's JUST an apple, lol. So I let him have both. Would you believe the little punk ate them both?! LOL!!!