So DDs favourite new thing to do is to hit, particularly me. I think it started as a game between her and my stepdad but she now does it all the time, including when she's upset. She actually hit me really hard today and totally blew me away. I've said that the hitting games have to stop but what else can I do? I tell her 'no' but she keeps doing it! I've started putting her on the ground every time she does it and not giving her any more attention until she stops. I've also started telling her 'gentle', which is a word she already has some idea of the meaning of as I've used it to teach her how to treat animals. She did actually hit the cat too, but there was only one incident.
I'm a bit lost here, guys! Is this just a phase? I'm worried if I don't nip it in the bud, it's going to get worse.
I do exactly the same as you and DS still hits me. Mostly in frustration but sometimes just because he can. I try to turn it into "high fives" or I pin his arms down and blow on his tummy, which diverts him, when it's just highspirited uncontrolled limbs. When he hits me then he is on the floor, told not to hit, and ignored.
The one I hate is when I'm pretending to nap (or asleep) and DS is in bed with me - he crawls over and lifts up my eyelids! At least you can ignore the hitting a bit.
He gets the "naughty chair" at Nursery and is made to apologise to the child he hit, which works better.
That reminds me, DD woke up before me (as usual) and I was still in bed, so she picked up a water bottle and threw it at me! She hits me to get me out of bed too but I feel kind of bad about that because I should be up as soon as she is if not before
I am sooo interested in this - I am glad you posted Neenee!!
Charlotte is going through this atm and it is really getting me ticked off. She hits anything if she is frustrated or annoyed or if over-excitment turns to anger (what is THAT anyway???)
At teh moment we are in the phase of firm Nos, holding her arms and putting her on the ground.
It is at the stage though now where if she persists, DH will pu ther in her room and close the door for about 5 mins til she calms down. It is the only thing that works at the time, although is having little affect on the actions in the future.
If I say "dont hit mummy" she will often get the doe eyes on and bow head against me then lean in and kiss me. Same with say sorry to mummy.
But alas, 10 minutes later it is on again!! I have NO IDEA where she got it from.
HELP US PLEASE!! lol
**really hoping it is just a phase**
Neenee, I'm talking about 5am when I try co-sleeping as a last resort because we've been up since 3 trying to get DS to just rest!
OK, and the odd afternoon too. But only because we've been up all night!
Over-excitement often leads to emotions running too wildly, which is a bit scary, which isn't nice, and we've gone from happy to not-nice, which makes the child angry. DS does the same too, and I can see what's going on with him, so I cuddle him, hold his arms down, and talk to him about emotions for a bit. I'm sure that's more of a punishment than ignoring him LOL. I'll teach him more about atomic structure next time!
Our babies are quite close in age and Rosehips DS is a 2007 bub too, so perhaps it is just a phase?
Thats hillarious about Charlotte putting on the doe eyes, Aurelia does that too. I'll say "No, don't hit! Gentle, be gentle" and she'll start stroking my hair and face as if I'm a cat lol. She'll lean in and give a kiss too sometimes, cheeky thing. She goes from overexcited to angry as well actually, toddler emotions seem very fluid. I wonder if me telling her 'no' is what makes her angry? She's starting to dislike that word.
I figure the best thing to do is to ignore the behaviour when possible and then give positive attention when they stop, that's about the best parenting advice i've ever come across personally. I wish it worked faster but . . .
NOT to recommend this, but I've noticed DS doesn't hit me with trains since one of his friends embedded one in DH's forehead. Now just to get his chum to wallop him with duplo too...
And positive attention is ALWAYS a great idea! But negative behaviours can't be just ignored, sadly - will work sometimes but not always.
Yikes about the train! Poor lil fella! I know people who think the best way to teach kids not to hurt is to do the same thing back to them; my friend and I have a mutual friend who would encourage her to pull her DSs' hair whenever he pulled my DDs! It didn't work though. Actually I think it must be confusing if adults keep doing things that they tell you not to! Do as I say not as I do sort of thing.
Hitting
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