Just wanted to pop in say we're going through a similar thing at the moment. I really don't want to be one of those parents who is constantly saying 'no' either. As a result I've just been moving him away from things and trying to distract him and trying to save 'no' for awhile yet. But I think I'm going to start using 'stop', it's a lot more direct, thanks Oorki!
Stop sounds like a good idea - will talk to DH about using that instead of NO.
i sat at the TV cabinet this morning and moved her hand away from the dangerous drawer - 41 TIMES! i couldn't believe it - she is so persistent! sooooooooo like her mummy! i never give up when i really want to achieve something!
we'll just keep working on it - the things that would need to be moved are DVD, surround sound, set top box and play station - the first three seem to generate a fair bit of heat when they're on and would have to be stacked on top of each other so i think it would create a hazard if they were put inside the other area with door on it - and looking at the DVD player (is DVD/VCR) i don't think it would fit anyway! it's really wide and only just first where it is now with a cm or 2 for air flow around it - the cabinet part with doors isn't as wide.
hmmmm, consistency, and teaching her limits sounds like the way to go
oh, and scoping out the IKEA website to see if they have what we need otherwise i'll see if dad can arrange something for us.... won't look pretty - but pretty doesn't matter - safe does
We had a lot of success saying 'not for Lou lou' and getting dd to wave and say bye bye to dangerous object and then move away/ distract. I also say 'that one is mummy's, not for Lou Lou, say bye bye' and she usually waves and then I move her away. Finished is also a good word because dd learned the sign for that at an early age, so we would say 'uh uh, finished with that one (do the sign)' and then move away/distract. She often did the sign too.
If dd had a sook about it, I always validated and said, 'yes I know you wanted to touch that, but it's mummy's and not for Lou lou' then distract.
Hth
The girls have given you good advice, I personally tried not to use NO ever when DD was little. I found despite my best intentions I used it a lot more when DD got older! But it sets up a good habit for trying to find an alternative way to explain things, like Stop, that's hot, it will hurt. Simple, but effective.
I actually think the best thing to do is to distract her. She's so little, she's interested in what is in front of her and she wants to explore. Instead of worrying about her learning not to go near it, which as marcellus says requires impulse control that she doesn't have yet, just draw her attention somewhere else. Grab something else she really likes and wave it in front of her. I bet the heater, the drawer and the TV cabinet are less interesting then!
I would still say, stop, that's hot em, look what Mummy's got instead! So get the message out, but don't expect her to regulate her behaviour when she's not old enough to do that. You wouldn't expect her to go and answer the phone politely when it rings, neither can you expect her to manage her behaviour and impulses at the level of a four year old (and she'll still have trouble even at that age with some things!).
we're working on using alternatives to NO - the heater seems to have been given the flick now that she has worked out that there is a doorway to the kitchen just beside it - and she can find daddy out there and harrass him! we are doing what we can to explain the danger and then distract her as much as we can, she's too little to really understand the explanation, but we've treated her as a little human with full comprehension since she was born, so we're not changing that now!
I found saying 'hot' works for us - although its probably only since Christmas that is has really hit home! I suppose thats to do with the impulse regulation that the others are talking about!
If she goes near anyhting hot, or tries to make a grab at a cup of tea, we'll say, hot and she's now at the stage that she'll look at something and say hot herself (she even saw a cooker on tv and said hot!). Although, we do have a gate on the kitchen (mainly because it is sooo small that she just gets in the way so its just safer to have the gate on there.
I think at the age of your little one, I would often move the object out of the way or if it wasn't too dangerous, let her explore and find out for herself - eg with closing the cupboard doors, she quickly learnt to move her fingers from the edge.
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no advice hun just a big hug.
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