I just want to cry....

[New Dawn]

Have you thought of a sleep school you have to get in before baba is 12 mths so now is the time if you want to do that.... They are a great help....

Dont think its just you its not some mums are just lucky, It might come bite you friend in the butt with her next child... I know my 1st spoilt me bad so I didnt quite what went wrong when we had DD... But really SHE was the normalone and DS who slepted through at 8 weeks was not....

I still get up for DD2 every night so dont feel bad about yourself its nothing you are doing.... But sleep school could help you with some settleing tec which will help you all in the long run.... I wish I had gone.... I can tell you now if I have a none sleeper again with the next I will be there in a flash....

chin up you are a great mum...

[Lolli]

I've tried every settling technique known to man He settles himself during the day... it's just at night. Seriously, we have tried everything. Controlled crying, co-sleeping, feeding him, not feeding him, patting, rocking, shushing, ignoring, sleeping in our room, sleeping in his own. Nothing works- hence the fact I have no faith in Tresillian or sleep school because anything they can show me I'm pretty sure I've already done. I can't even take a night off and get just one full night's sleep becuse bubs cries himself into hysterics if I'm not there- to the point where he is sobbing so hard he can hardly breath. he did that for two hours straight once- he won't even scream himself to a certain point and then drop off. Just a hopeless, helpless situation. Normally i try not to think about it too much and just soldier on but some days it just gets to me

[Phteven]

It really is awful - there is a reason that sleep deprivation is used during torture and interrogation. Yasin woke up almost every 2 hours until he was over a year (and DH thinks he was a great sleeper - bah! that's because he never got up) but now he sleeps pretty well.
I found that what worked best for me was just giving in to it - having Yasin in my bed so that when he woke in the night it took less time to settle him and go back to sleep, having a nanna nap in the day when Yasin had his nap so that I could get by on less sleep at night, getting DH to get up on saturday so I could catch up on my sleep. Instead of focussing on getting Yasin to sleep I focussed on catching up on my sleep.
He still likes to sleep with DH or me and that's ok by me - soon he'll grow out of that too. Something my sister said to me at the time that has stuck and proved to be true is 'at the time it seems like it will drag on forever but when it's over it will seem like it was really fast'.
He will grow out of it - hang in there. One day you'll be geting a teenager out of bed at midday.

[Turkish Delight]

You are definitely not alone.

My son, who is now 6 was the most terrible sleeper as a newborn (and we still have trouble sending him to bed). He just did not sleep. I would go crazy and eventually developed PND because of it as i could not function. I hope it doesn't get that bad for you though.

My little girl is now 1 and she wakes twice a night for a bottle and on some night wakes at 4-5am and is ready for the day ahead.

You are definitely not alone. Don't feel resentful towards your little bub as she loves you dearly and you are the only one person she has that will love her like you do. Not all babies are the same. Some sleep, some don't. Some eat well, some won't. Each bub has its own personality and we wouldn't want it any other way.

One piece of advice, get some sleep when bub sleeps during the day even if it is for 30mins or 2hours, you will wake up to be a new person. If housework slides out the door, well so be it. We can't be supermum!

Goodluck. Remember... as they say ...it will improve (i'm still waiting!)

[Lolli]

Ok. i've gotten out of the house and had a nice (decaf) cappucion and my perspective is back in ...ummmm... perspective. it could be much worse. I work with kids who have chronic illnesses and I'm sure there parents would say that they wouldn't mind them waking up every hour at night if they were healthy and happy. And my bubs is healthy and happy and the light of my life. If some nocturnal activity is the price I pay for it, well then so be it.
Thanks ladies. BB is so good for making me realise I am not alone... I think it's the loneliness that bites hardest about being a mum.

[Turkish Delight]

Lori,

That is soooo true. We need to be grateful that God has blessed us with healthy bubs.
So glad to hear that you are doing well now.

What i always think about when Ela is up at 4am and wants to play is that it is not going to last forever and that it already has been 1 year. How long more could it go on for? Another year?

Just try and think about the positives as hard as it may be at the time.

[Olive]

have you tried a night light in his room?

[Liz]

I'm right there with you Lori. It really does help to just catch up on a few zz's here and there. It makes a HUGE difference with how you cope with the night feeds/wakings. I need to take my own advice.. both kids are asleep and I'm stuffing around on the computer instead of sleeping!!

I'm not a fan of sleep schools. I can usually explain the wakings, and I figure if it's teeth or tummy pain or hunger, then I would feel mean just trying to make her sleep, when really she's just a little person who needs her mummy. And it really doesn't last forever. The exhaustion comes in waves, and they do grow out of it. DS still wakes occassionally, but he's easily settled by climbing into our bed and going back to sleep. hehe. Yet when he was the one waking every night, I felt like it would never end.. now before I knew it, he's 2 1/2 and everything is so different.

*hugs*

[Boo Boo]

another non-sleeper here....Rylee is nearly two and still not sleeping 'through', in her life she has probably slept 'through' four times, in fact she was awake for 2 hours from 3.30 - 5.30 am this morning, I am sorry I am not much help but I can share your frustration
I have tried everything too, I have no explanation as to why some bubs sleep well and some don't, just the way everyone is different I suppose.

But if you do find the sleep deprivation getting to you, please seek help.

[Marlene]

it could be much worse. I work with kids who have chronic illnesses and I'm sure there parents would say that they wouldn't mind them waking up every hour at night if they were healthy and happy.

Thankyou LoriRae...I have been feeling really down and not getting much sleep either, but it really is great to get some perspective isn't it?
One of our friends DD's is only 5 years old and terminally ill, they will probably not have her much longer, and as hard as sleep deprivation is I consider myself the luckiest mother on the planet to have a happy, healthy baby. Jack is waking every couple of hours at the moment and just wants to laugh and play all night, I am so lucky to have him.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Oh, chicky There's nothing as demoralising as comparisons! And you know, 'sleeping through' is defined by different people in creative ways - it could mean that the baby wakes but doesn't wake mummy up cos she goes back to sleep by herself...so, not true 'sleeping through'. In fact, most adults I know don't truly 'sleep through, either!
If she's done CC, then that could explain her theory that the baby has 'slept through'. If baby knows no-one's coming to him, he learns that energy is wasted calling for someone who's not coming...and will eventually go back to sleep without calling for anyone.
Other babies do just go to sleep, wake quietly and resettle...these babies are far and few between, though, so there's no need to beat yourself up if yours doesn't do this!
We co-sleep and sometimes it's just easier, when someone asks, to just say 'yes, he sleeps through', but I do feel like a fraud when I do this...it's just sometimes easier than explaining that he stirs, latches on, drops off again, maybe once, maybe 4 times in a night depending on the kind of day he's had, or if he's been sick etc. I do feel like I'm doing a disservice when I call this 'sleeping through', because people assume that we don't have to tend to him even though he's not actually waking up out of his sleep whilst we do it.
No, my DS at 2 may not starve if I don't BF him overnight, but it's what he wants, he likes it and by co-sleeping, it means that even though I come out of a deeper sleep I'm not actually that awake, either!
The times I do have to fully wake up for him and he's more awake during the night are when he is unwell...and no matter whether you co-sleep or your baby sleeps in a shed at the back of the garden with a monitor (just being cheeky to make my point ) if your baby is sick, ain't no-one gonna get a great night's sleep!
YOU are not doing anything 'wrong' except using someone else as a yardstick, ok? And please dont' be lonely - if you haven't already, join a playgroup, a library kids' reading time, local ABA group...no mummy should ever be alone

[kelebek]

Just wanted to let you know LoriRae that you are definitely not alone & I understand how it feels to think that 3 hrs straight sleep would be heaven. While my DS is a little younger than your bub he wakes most nights 2 hrly as well. I won't repeat what everyone else had said but I definitely second it. The biggest 3 things that work for me are 1) acceptance, I can't change & it won't last forever (hopefully) 2) I try & sleep at least once through the day most days with ds & 3) the housework will wait, it ain't going anywhere.

Hope all our bubs give us 1 night of sleep sending you some sleepy vibes

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

"I'm sleeping like a baby at the moment - sleep two hours, wake up and cry, sleep another two hours..." - John McCann, American election runner-up dude.