Hun, I feel the same way everytime I see DD and ask myself why can't I be a SAHM!
Re: childcare. I think it's a matter of just keeping on looking if you really want him to be in care.
Im a SAHM well now WAHM but my business is only just getting off the ground but when I had no income so to speak and only relying on hubby which for the most part i still am. It was and still is very, very hard financially. We have a very strict budget that we must stick to, it is extremely hard and very stressful especially when a big bill comes in and im wondering how on earth we are going to pay it.
I think at the end of the day you have to write a budget both of working and not working compare the differences find out where you can save, maybe changing to a cheaper insurance policy etc and write out a pros and cons list of working and one of being a SAHM. I know in your heart you want to be a SAHM and with very careful budgeting and planning it probably could work but there may be some hard times being cut back to one income
It might not be ideal, but why not look at a career change if you really don't want to use child care? I work shift work (same job as previous to kids) and manage my shifts around the kids, working when DH is home to care for them. I work an evening and a Sunday. It means we have less time together, but it's not forever and I think it's good for DH to be the 'primary caregiver' whilst I'm working. Most importantly, it means I don't have to leave the kids in childcare or rely on someone else to care for them while I'm at work. It is a juggling act and it took us a while to find a roster that worked, but I feel like we've found the right balance.
If shifts aren't available in your current job, maybe consider working part time somewhere like Myer or Safeway... anywhere they can offer hours that suit. I have several friends who work like this to make up the financial short-fall of giving up full-time work and it works for them. They can always return to their chosen field in a few years when the kids are older.
I know this might not work for you, but just offering some food for thought.
My 3yo has just started regular care. It has taken me 3 years to find the right place (and to be on their waiting list for nearly 2 years) and in the meantime eliminate 2 other centres (where he went for a few days of occassional care). Those 2 centres were not good, I should have listened to my instincts from the start!
During this time we have made the sacrifices necessary so that i can be a SAHM. Having worked in childcare myself I know what goes on behind the scenes and am very fussy (as any parent should be).
I don't compromise and would rather wear Op Shop clothes etc than work and know that my children are not happy.
Panda I desperately want to be a SAHM too. nickle has given some good ideas, Maybe start by working out how much money you need and how many hours you need to work than find a job that will fit that.
We don't have any savings to accommodate me leaving work dh needs to make up my entire wage for us to still get by if I do end up going back to work I will work when dh is home to look after bubs, so depending on his roster I may get to work anywhere from 25 - 10 hours a week and hope that it will be enough money by cutting back even further in the budget.
It is a really hard decision to make. I went back to work when Ds1 was 10mo, I lasted 3 weeks (3 days/week). I just couldn't leave him, I found it so hard, knowing I was going to miss out his milestones and just generally missed him. He was with DH's aunty and cousin (who loved him to bits and he enjoyed being with them).
we were able to manage me not working, just. I started doing family day care just before he turned 3, this was after DH was retrenched and we moved in with his family, when we got our own place again, we needed the second income. I stayed doing this until I was pg with Ds2 and began spotting (after 3 years of ttc and fertility treatment there was no way I was going to risk that pg). I started back again when he was almost 3 as well. I've just had baby number 3 and have taken 9 weeks off, starting back this week, financially I just had to come back early, we have used almost every dollar in our bank accounts - just happens to be that time of the year when all the big bills come in together, (tax, car insurances x 2, electricity, water, etc)
Could you look at working from home, either with your current job, or starting something new? Or working part-time (I can't remember if you have a full time/part time job already)
Thankyou all so much - its certainly given me something to think about. Sunshine I needed to hear that, of course I'm not the only Mum missing her baby! Mollycat thanks for sharing your story (I went back at 10 months for 3 days too!), I am part-time only but even that doesn't feel doable. Thanks for the ideas MrsS, nickle! We are very lucky in that we may be able to get by with me working just a little bit..I will look into it!
Panda - hope you come up with something you're happy with!
We are just managing with me being a full time SAHM. It just didn't suit for me to go back into teaching just yet, and i didn't think doing part time admin jobs would be financially more beneficial once you take into account cc and travel costs, etc.
Its a struggle, but we made some financial choices that have made it easier. It did mean some sacrifices, such as we are still renting and DH rides a 20+yr old motorbike to work. But we both think it worth it.
IHave you thought of doing some sort of party plan? i've been doing Tupperware since last January, and that has really helped - its probably not a part time wage equivalent but its been enough to ease things! I generally do around 2 parties a week, and organise them for when DH can have DD.
Mollycat - I've often thought about doing fdc, but not sure - is it financially worth it? I'll have 2 under 2, so I know that would limit the numbers I could have.
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dh needs to make up my entire wage for us to still get by
if I do end up going back to work I will work when dh is home to look after bubs, so depending on his roster I may get to work anywhere from 25 - 10 hours a week and hope that it will be enough money by cutting back even further in the budget.
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