I'm not as good at this as I would like to be....

[Rouge]

This was my son. And even now I have to ask him ten times and he'll only hear half of what I've said. When he was little we used to play listening games and I would praise him for doing things that I'd asked. For example if he got his shoes when I asked I'd get overly excited and hi five him. People say over praising is bad. But it's never been a problem here. They aren't emotionally damaged because I used praise as a parenting tool. And I don't have to praise him for putting his shoes on anymore so maybe give that a go. I find if you praise them for positive behaviour, even the small stuff, not only do they love the positive attention but they also learn appreciation and in turn don't take others for granted as they learn.

[Mrs P]

Thanks Rouge will try to praise the good stuff more. I think it's not helping that I'm getting little sleep with DS so I am much less tolerant than usual

[Rouge]

Absolutely. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason and remember you are doing a great job. I'm sorry you had a bad day. But I promise you, you're doing great

[wysiwyg]

I'll try and think of more things but often it would be something as silly as playing what's the time Mr Wolf. Or singing nursery rhymes but changing the words to something silly. Laughter and randomness has always got us through, when I can recognise we aren't coping.

The silliness thing very rarely fails here, I noticed my mum doing it so just copied "Oooh look a flying elephant" or "Pooo stinky" works wonders for snapping them out of it when about to lose it - when they are past reason.

[milly5]

hi ladies,
thanks for all the great responses.
I'm feeling much better now - no sleep and a what turned out to be a houseful of sickness and mummy with PMT as well was not a good combo. And also, realising that I don't have a great support network IRL, so thanks again ladies, I really appreciated it.
DD1 still disrupting DD2 sleep, but I have learned to distract her with her favorite DVD whatever works!

[milly5]

hi ladies,
thanks for all the great responses.
I'm feeling much better now - no sleep and a what turned out to be a houseful of sickness and mummy with PMT as well was not a good combo. And also, realising that I don't have a great support network IRL, so thanks again ladies, I really appreciated it.
DD1 still disrupting DD2 sleep, but I have learned to distract her with her favorite DVD whatever works!

[Arcadia]

Bumping this thread today. 4.5 year old having multiple meltdowns a day, entitlement issues and emotional volatility. I'm feeling like a failure but so resentful of this feeling.

When did parenting get so isolating? I honestly don't know who to call or ask when I feel like this.

It's like being a martyr to a cause sometimes and walking forward with blind faith it's the best way.

Is it bad to expect a 4.5 year old to temper their emotions? I validate crying and frustration. Screaming and kicking for twenty minutes has me using empathy blockers and biting down frustration. 'you sound like youve just witnessed a carcrash' choice words hey? But seriously. All because I wouldn't let her ride her bike to the shops because a) we only have one bike so ds screams if she rides it b) preg mummy can't keep up c) we live inner city and there are multiple trucks and driveways which are hazardous d) because that was the activity 'going for a walk'

After another three meltdowns today I turned on the tv and went to my room to cry my eyes out.

For once I didn't loose it. Can't say I feel any better. In fact sometimes roaring like a lion in her face actually stops the screaming.

Why is it so hard somedays?

[Calluna]

Hugs Arcadia. I'm right there with you hun.

[Arcadia]

Thanks Calluna. I keep reminding myself that it's dd who is struggling with something and it's nothing to do with me. I think as parents though we want to 'help' and fix things and tbh after twenty minutes of screaming we all want it to stop!

[beansbeans!]

Oh yes the parenting isolation totally sucks, and to be honest it amplifies all the negative parts of the day. Handling tantrums etc is so much harder when there's no one to turn to or help out.
And the school drop off and pick up, is horrid, the conversations or lack there of is so hard, there's only so many ways you can do the I'm good how are you routine before it sounds fake and contrived.

[Arimeh]

And the school drop off and pick up, is horrid, the conversations or lack there of is so hard, there's only so many ways you can do the I'm good how are you routine before it sounds fake and contrived.

You are way more sociable than me, I don't talk to any parent - at the school or kindy! While waiting for the bell to ring I lean up against the toilet wall and check out facebook - I'm not really up to making friends, I'm way too socially awkward. Give me facebook or BB any day!

But I do miss my friends in tassie, because I saw them basically every day and they knew my kids and knew when I needed a time out - even for a few minutes to go to the toilet by myself. Its so much easier handling challenging behaviour when you have a friend there with you.

I thought 4 was hard - 5 is turning out to be my worst nightmare!!

[Jennifer13]

I drop off and pick up from the car. Much, much easier and quicker.

[Arcadia]

Thanks for the replies!

Cassius: yes I miss having a friend to pop over and see. My go to friend when dd was a baby moved when she had her second and I still pine for those cups of tea and play dates.

Jenn, yep my dd has a very strong sense of self and strong emotions. She will be a fabulously strong woman one day and I'm proud of that. Teaching, coaxing and negotiating this little woman takes so much strength. I want her to be everything she can be, but i also have a job to socialize her properly with good sense and good manners while maintaining that spirit. It's hard!
We had to leave the dentist today because she refused to let the proceed. I understand. I hate the dentist. But walking out without having it sorted after dragging two kids into the city first thing in the morn...I really had to grit my teeth and find that empathy. Once the love flows though, it is easy.

Beans, I can't hear about school stuff yet, I'm hoping it will improve things...arrrggghh,

Arimeh: five is your nightmare? Is your eldest dd five?

[Arimeh]

5 children

But I do think that age 5 can be nightmare-ish but its nothing compared to my threenager lol

[Arcadia]

Oh five children, gotcha! Well I always said I wanted five. Maybe I'll stop after this one. My mum said her fourth was the last straw (screamy, refluxy, unsettled baby).

You're amazing arimeh! Sending love your way.

[Swamp princess]

On my bad mummy list:
Yelling so loud at my 9 year old I burst blood vessels on my vocal cords.. He used the dish brush to scrub the cat litter tray. Then put it back in the sink.

We play "silence is golden" in the car. First kid to talk loses.

My kids wake me up for the school run more often than I care to admit.

My kids actually believe weet-bix came in different shapes when I was a kid I've told them so often.

I taped fat cat going to bed when the older ones were little and sometimes put it in at 5:30...