My older girls were both sent to bed at 8.30, alone with a lamp, from about 3. I have no idea how I did that I wish I could do it now, I'm so exhausted by the time they're all asleep that I'm too tired for my alone time
I'm with you there! My sister practiced controlled crying with her son; he has just turned 2 and he puts himself to bed in his own room most nights with no parental interaction at all. While I would never choose that for my DS and me, sometimes I do have to sigh wistfully and wish I could have it that easy just for one night!

We've got the mini-separation part down, I think: we snuggle in his bed for a little while, have a bit of a chat, read stories etc. until lights out, and then I sit in my bed while he stays in his. He's mostly okay with that, though lately in his efforts to get my attention he has been asking me to come back and snuggle with him more or asking if he can come into my bed. I usually tell him that we've already had lots of snuggles and I will come back and give him a quick cuddle but then it's time to sleep, and that mummy wants her bed to herself for a few hours but if he wakes up later he can come into my bed then.

I think the "duck out" thing is definitely the next logical step. He can't keep trying to engage me if I'm not in the room, and if I'm only slipping out to use the bathroom or get a drink of water I won't feel like I'm using withdrawal as a punishment for not doing what I want.

Not that you aren't right, Santosha-- I think he is old enough to understand that my leaving the room is a logical consequence of his continuing to talk, not me taking away my affections because he won't obey me. But in his particular case I think it would be counter-productive to getting him to sleep. He would still see it as a punishment and cry and get worked up until I came back in to settle him. Hopefully letting him know that I'm just going to do X and I'll be back in a minute will forestall that.