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Thread: Kicking

  1. #1

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    Nov 2003
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    Default Kicking

    Lately Kynan has taken to deliberately kicking me really hard when I'm changing his nappy or zipping him up into his sleeping bag. He's kicked my legs, tummy, arms and head, and it hurts! I tell him no (or uh uh, stop, don't, etc), not to kick, and that he hurts me when he kicks. Usually when I tell him off he stops what he is doing straight away because he knows by the tone of voice that I use that I'm serious (with other stuff sometimes he even starts to cry when I say 'no' because he knows he's in trouble). Lately however he won't listen when it comes to kicking and worse still, he actually giggles or laughs a lot of the time before he does it again! I'm starting to get really frustrated, and when it happens mid-nappy change it's not like I can do much with him nappyless you know? So I just have to put up with it and keep saying no, don't kick etc until I get him dressed again.

    DH thinks Kynan is testing the boundries, which is probably quite likely as he's also taken to throwing things and then looking at me to see if he'll get away with it, but what the heck do I do about it? Any suggestions? Is my reaction to the kicking just encouraging him do you think... should I just be ignoring it? I don't want him to think it's okay to kick people though...


  2. #2

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    Hmmm - Jenna likes banging us with her head, and pulling my hair, so while its not kciking, its the same control thing.
    It has got better - purely from just ignoring the behaviour. She loves it when I say "ouch" so I just had to stop doing that. I also sometimes would hold her head and say "no - that hurts mummy" but I'm so not sure it did anything.
    I think boys have a tendency to be more physical at an earlier age than girls, so while its important to try and cut it out, they will always be a little rougher. I think you have to let him know its not OK, just how you do that is another question. Can you change your reaction to something different? Using different words etc? Rather than "no" maybe say "kicking is not OK - please stop that now".

  3. #3

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    Angel, I have no solutions, but I hope someone out there does, cos Charlie does the same thing and it is driving me BARMY...........he is the perfect child aside from crocodile roll screechy kicking me in the belly nappy changes...........

  4. #4

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    angel my suggestion would be to say uh uh or whatever you do and put him gently on the floor and do something in the room ignoring him. when he is distracted talk to him about what he is doing and try again i did this with oscar last night after about 5 goes he got the message, his was with regard to turning off the tv but i would use it for anything else as well really.
    HTH's beckles

  5. #5

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    I would as quickly as possible remove him from the situation. So get him dressed quickly and put him down and say "No kicking mummy" then leave the room. Then when he doesn't kick (this is more important and effective than saying No IMO although I would still do both) PRAISE when he doesn't kick, if he's distracted or whatever doesn't matter praise him and cuddle and kiss when he doesn't kick and say thank you etc. I know it sounds extreme but the only way I have ever been able to overcome unfavourable behaviour has been through praise. I still think its important to say No so that they know what they are doing is not ok. But the praise shows them how wonderful it feels to do the right thing.

    Hope I'm making sense.

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  6. #6
    Melinda Guest

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    We've always told Jacob 'no' or 'uh uh' whenever he does something like that, e.g. "We don't hit Jacob, hitting hurts". Then we would try to distract him with something else immediately (at about Kynan's age - distraction doesn't always work so well these days LOL). Can you give him a special 'nappy change' toy or book - something that he only gets with nappy changes, that will distract him perhaps?

    Like Cailin said, we use a lot of praise here too. So when Jacob does the right things, we praise him for that and tell him how good/helpful etc he has been. Even just playing quietly on his own, we praise him for and tell him how well he is playing, or how great he's been whilst Mummy was on the phone etc. So the times when Kynan doesn't kick during a nappy change, tell him how good he's been and give him lots of cuddles/kisses etc.

  7. #7

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    Thanks for all the suggestions! I'll try some of them out and see how we go.

    I do use praise whenever he stays still for a second but he just doesn't seem to get it LOL. But I will persist, I guess consistency is the key here!

    Mel, yep he does have a couple of toys that I give him during nappy changes but now half the time they get defiantly thrown across the room and I therefore refuse to give them back to him for a while LOL.

  8. #8

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    Angel we stopped using the change table for that reason, and now we do changes either on the floor or on the ottoman in the lounge room & I sit next to Matilda. As my belly has gotten bigger, its gotten easier to kick at. Like the others have said I often almost ignore the kicks and praise her when her legs are down. I say "How easy was that? What a good girl you are for helping mummy out & leaving your legs still... lets go & play with .... now!" She now sometimes tries to kick me somewhere else like on my leg & says "no baby kick mummy" because I asked her not to kick mummy in the belly, that was where the baby is.

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