large vent (sorry)

[nay23]

Hi everyone Im really sorry but I wasn't sure where to put this and I am so mad I just wanted to vent!
I subscribe to the practical parenting magazine and in the latest issue they had an article on setting up a routine for your bub..... there was one mum who was for it and one who was against it. While I am glad that they showed both sides of the story I was infuriated by the comment that the mum with the routine made! She stated that it was hard in the begining (her baby was 10 weeks old!) to stretch him out to 4 hours per feed! OMG i couldn't believe it! My 9 month old bub only just started doing that in the past month or so!
I demand fed when he was little and even if I had had done a routine Im sure it is not right to stretch a 10 week old baby out to 4 hour feeds! I am definately for a routine with babies but sometimes you have got to be practical and responsible! While babys may need a bit of structure so they know whats going on! And if your baby is a half hour snacker then I agree with trying to stretch it out a little to have a propper feed. But that is for the right reasons.... not cos I think babies should behave a certain way! They are all different and need to be treated like different human beings! 4 hour feeds for every baby is just not possible!
I believe that I have a happier, more well adjusted baby because I allow him to be himself, with just a little bit of guidance! And if he has a day where he is hungry and needs to feed more often I am going to do it! Because he is a person not a machine that you can program!!!!!!!
Thankyou for listening to me rant!
Take care everyone
xox

[Beach Mama]

I agree hun, that is such a young age to do that. Maybe you could write a letter to the mag saying you are a subscriber and how disappointed you were in the info in the article and how inappropriate you feel it is for new mums to read that bubs at 10 weeks can go 4 hours without a feed.

You are right though, Izzy is 4 hourly with her bottles and is 11 mths on Saturday.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I'm possibly going to be unpopular here...

Whilst i don't agree that routine feeding is a wise idea, nor appropriate for a ten week old baby, four hourly is IMO, not all that uncommon.
Alexander has demand fed four hourly with a six-eight hour break overnight since birth (until recently where he has been feeding on average three hourly instead). All of his own accord. He has had excellent growth & weight gain, so I don't see the problem.
& consider the fact that many premmie babies are set to four hour feeds before they leave hospital and have to be showing weight improvement before they leave I don't understand the fuss.

Like I said, I don't agree that setting a routine is a wise idea until bubs has put themself in one, but I don't see why four hour demand feeding is unacceptable, especially if baby is deemed to be growing healthily.

ETA: My bad, i just reread part of it and i completely misinterpreted. No, it's not a good thing to encourage new mums to expect their bubs to go four hourly, & considering the majority of bubbas tend to feed at least 8-12 in 24 in the first few weeks, it's probably not something they should be "promoting" to new parents.

[mrsmac]

I think they were more upset that she was forcing her baby to wait 4 hours for a feed not that he fed 4 hourly.

[Nai]

I agree it does set some unrealistic expectations for new mums to think that they SHOULD be having these babies that work like clockwork - they are not little machines. Sure some babies will naturally feed regularly and some will even need to be woken and encourged to feed regularly and more frequently (like mine, she was slightly jaundiced so needed regular feeds to help flush it out ) but others will just cruise along doing things with no routine. I think new mums need to be shown that all of these things COULD happen but they are all normal so no need to stress about it.

[{sarah}]

A friend I ave did it with her first & it was heart breaking to hear the baby crying hysterically with mum saying "no sweetheart you've still got half an hour to go". She's just had her second bub & is doing the same thing. It's not nice at all

[mbear]

Like Barb has written before, imagine YOU being told that after your lunch, you cannot eat/drink for another 4 hours....
In saying that though, if i knew now, what i knew when i had my first born, i certainly would have done things differently. I was a bit like ' no, she still has an hour to go before her next feed', when realistically, i should have just fed her there and then.

[Beach Mama]

Ash - I know what you mean, Izzy fed 4 hourly in the first few weeks after she was born,but like you it was infant led... I think it would be hard if you had a bub who wnated/needed 2-3 hourly feeds who was making bubby wait for a feed.

I have a friend who is really strict too Sarah and is constantly waking up her 3 mth old because if he sleeps too long during the day etc he won't sleep at night , she hasn't made the connection yet that since she's been doing it (Gina Ford stuff ) that he hasn't improved overnight at all and has actually been worse.
It is really hard as new mums, and I think mags like this have a responsibility to make sure that they are promoting and releasing info and opinions that don't make things more difficult and challenging for new mums.

[nay23]

thanks everyone Im so glad its not just me who believes that it is unfair
I do think that all babies are different and if your baby WANTS to feed 4 hourly then thats great! But I don't think they should be MADE to stretch out!
YAY for all us mums who go with our babies and encourage their individuality!!!!!!
Take care everyone and keep loving your little ones!
xox