Music teacher says my 2.5 year old HAS to sit on them

[Arimeh]

I haven't been in that situation, but if DS or DD didn't feel comfortable sitting on a strangers lap - then I wouldn't want to force them to do it!!!!

I think it seems a little unreasonable to expect a 2 year old to be fully comfortable with them straight away. I know DS sits on the carers laps at daycare but he's been there for a while now - and wouldn't have done it for a few weeks I would imagine!!!!

I hope you figure out a solution soon.

[Kazbah]

Oh dear .. the devil in me is suggesting that you'll let DD sit on their lap providing you can too?

Oh dear. I hope it works out soon. Maybe take a little chair *hers* and they can sit behind her? You can pick up little folding chairs for about $8 at BigW which might work?

[Pretty Butterfly]

I would be livid!!!

Maybe ask them why it is SO important that they have to have physical contact with such a young child to teach music???

Might open their eyes a little and they might back off!!!

No one would ever tell me my child HAS to sit on their lap!!! Stick to your guns hon, they have no right to enforce that on your DD.

[Nelle]

Mmm, I think it's a great thing for you to teach your child - that if they're not comfortable with making physical contact with a someone, then they don't have to.

Is there someone higher up that you can have a chat to about this? I'd be uncomfortable forcing my child to do something like that unless it was necessary (dr's and the like). I think warming her into it with a couple of weeks is a great compromise, wonder why they're so negative about it...

[Curly]

Maybe ask them why it is SO important that they have to have physical contact with such a young child to teach music???

Might open their eyes a little and they might back off!!!

Love it, that's the exact response I wanted to make but couldn't find the words when I read the OP earlier. Actually went away to think about it.

That's your "big gun" if they insist...I would go with Nelle's line first about how you don't believe in enforcing physical contact if your child is not comfortable with it and what difference does a couple of weeks make? I'm amazed other parents haven't raised this with them before.

Makes me think the teachers don't have kids themselves if they can't be understanding of toddler quirks.

And you're absolutely right...your DD is only 2! It's supposed to be fun! My DS was going to toddler soccer (ages 18-30 months) and one week an instructor was insisting that they kick with the inside or outside of the foot, not their toe (and took a good 5 minutes demonstrating with the kids champing at the bit to go bananas). You could feel the amazement emanating from the parents there, not to mention the rolling eyes.

[Junglemum]

i would be inclined to find a new music school that were a little more relaxed about the whole thing. Insisiting a kid sits on their knee seems a little wierd to me, but maybe i am OTT?!

[Snacks]

That's stupid. Technique is so difficult to teach to a child that young (who may not have the communication skills for it, KWIM?). You are right - music should be a form of expression and it should most definitely be for FUN at this or any age. If this is the inflexible philosophy of the school (i.e. you MUST do it this way or else you will learn 'bad' habits) then I'd think twice about sending my kid til they were a bit older. JMO... I think that attitude sucks.

[Hollybolly]

GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Hun, this is what I do for a job... and have done now for 16yrs... what they're asking is absolutely wrong, wrong, wrong... at this age, its all about being comfortable with themselves, in a group AND ESPECIALLY with the teacher - only then will they relax enough to listen to a rhythm... and thats ALL you're expecting at this point in time.

I teach preschool aged children... and have done big sized groups, and smaller sized groups.
The MOST important thing you must know to be able to work with little people is that they are all DIFFERENT.

The strategy working with one child will be different to the next, and then the next, and then the next.. and so on.

Obviously, there are basic rules about the care of instruments, etc - but they have to be in sync with the fact that they are still only babies

I have some children that want to crawl all over me and some children that want to sit far away in the corner.. you have to be flexible enough to do what works with the individual child.. and build on that.

My suggestion (if I were the teacher there) would be to have you sit with your child in your lap and play the instrument together... I'm not sure about why they have this policy, but who am I to question I guess??

There are MANY wonderful programs around for early introduction to music for little ones... my advice would be to try out a new one.

Your little one may only be 2 and a half, but confidence with any adult in a teaching position is imperitive as early as possible.. if this scars her now to have an impact to make her hesitant, you may find that she will carry that through to any tuition later down the track.
If she does private piano lessons etc later on, that can be a real worry

PLEASE feel free to PM me if you want to chat further

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Drop the lessons. Music should be FUN, as you point out. An old (-er than your DD at any rate) man forcing you to sit on his lap when you don't want to isn't fun.

I'd be making a BIG stink about that too - why force children to sit on laps when they don't want to? Very dodgy.

DS loves playing the piano. If we go out and there's a piano, he sits and plays. OK, not well, but at least individual notes and a tempo now. This has come about by letting him sit with his mother and have fun with a piano, us both playing together, him copying some basic tunes from me (some Dvorak, a bit of Mozart, very little Beethoven, although he loves listening to that...) and he can sit and "play" up to 5-6 notes of a tune now, enough to recognise it. But it's fun, not learning - a 2-3 year old doing scales? Nah. Fun, then technique. That's how I learnt with no associated downside (OK, a slight problem with sight-reading the low end of the bass clef, but I'll introduce that to DS earlier than I was introduced).

[suse]

What Holly said!

As somebody who has trained as a classical musician (trained being the operative word), rigid compliance to a musical doctrine, whether it be technique or learning to read music, can be stifling to creativity and in many ways is counter-productive to developing an understanding of the concepts of melody and rhythm.

Without knowing much about the specifics of the program I may be premature in commenting, but such concern about technique in a general toddler music group, and rigidity to a teaching method suggests that they teach music by rote rather than creatively. A refusal to be flexible to accommodate the personality of a student in favour of developing technique on instruments that at this age should really only be used to give an idea of different timbres implies to me the 'play your scales right or we'll hit you over the hands with a ruler' method of teaching.