There is never going to be a situation where i am cool with forcing DD to sit on ANYONE'S lap. And if i were a parent in your situation i think that, however cruel it seems/feels, id be pointing out how deeply inappropriate that is! I would tell that that i intended to force neither unwanted physical contact nor dogmatic musical doctrine onto my TODDLER (FFS - if a kid is 11 i can see the value in scales, but then the desire to have them sat on your lap would be entirely another thing of course...) and that i was having serious doubts about their school and wanted to speak to someone in authority.

Bx