At my wits end with DS1 (a bit gross)

[tan32]

Hi all,
I am after some suggestions as to what to do about my 6 year old DS.

A quick background first, He has encropsis ( I think that's the spelling) Which is basically really bad constipation where his bowels are blocked and poo leaks out . He is also in the process of being assessed for Aspergers. He has done really well at school this year and got fantastic marks in everything.

Ok so with his bowels, its not uncommon for us to go through 4 pairs of jocks a day. As the poo is old it stinks badly. I can deal with this as i know he has no control over it and is on medication everyday for it. I can even deal with the toilet being dirty.

However what I can not deal with is poo being wiped all over my house. He gets it on his fingers and then wipes it everywhere. I mean it is on the toilet paper the toilet paper holder the floor of the toilet and the walls. I have shampooed his carpet as it has been there too.....ok fast forward to this week.

I sat down with Ds and calmly spoke to him about this, I said i understand he has a problem and I am not cross at his jocks, but Mummy does not like poo being wiped everywhere and it is not acceptable behavior. I explained that it is dirty and has germs and will make everyone sick. I asked him if he could stop doing this.
Ok so anyway the next day it was on the wall again, so i made him clean it off and clean the toilet too. Fast forward to today . I go into his room to help clean up and there is poo smeared on the carpet , wiped on his wall and crumbs everywhere....I asked him why and he shrugged his shoulders. I sent him out the room and calmly started taking all his toys out. I have now taken every toy out of his room, made him clean the walls and carpets........

What else can I do...
In the past I would have lost it at him yelled, screamed and smacked him. But I am in more control as a parent now , so what do i do?

If you got through reading this Thank you
Tan

[Winter]

I couldn't read and not give you a I have no advice, but I'm hoping that someone else will be able to help.

Perhaps you can try posting in the Children's Medical Condition section? Might get a few more responses?

Best of luck with this.

[C~Q]

Oh hun I don't know When you talk to him does he understand? Does he just sort of nod or do you think he understands when you explain about the germs?

Maybe tell him to come and see you everytime he has poo on his hands and every time he does he gets a star in a star chart or something? And then when he gets x amount of stars he gets a prize?? That way you are praising him for doing the right thing not the other way around iykwim??

It must be really hard for you...is it something that can be fixed? Poor little bugger

[Mildez]

I would also make him clean it in areas which are not appropriate like his bedroom and walls, carpet. As for around the toilet and the toilet roll holder etc I would do that myself if I thought it was accidental. Maybe not the floor though.

Is it deliberate everywhere like around the loo etc? I mean I would imagine he would use his finger to help get the poo out if he has problems using his bowels and the carpet and walls wouldn't explain how it got there unless its deliberate. I was just thinking if he is using his finger to help for what ever reason it would be so easy to accidently smear it on the walls around light switches etc and especially in the bathroom. What about a poo wiping towel if he uses his finger to help get it out?

Sounds like you are already going the right way about some discipline. Any chance of tiling the bedroom instead of carpet if its going to be a long term problem? Hope you find a solution which helps with the problem soon.

[MantaRay]

Oh Tan, that must be so frustrating I can relate as my nearly 5 yo is in a similar boat although not to the same extent and thankfully not the smearing.

We have found the greatest improvement has come from seeing an OT for this. She has been absolutely fantastic, and while I think it's too soon to say that all is well, things are certainly better than they were. Have you been working with an OT at all? If not, maybe that's something to think about, and if so, maybe you could ask the advice of the OT as to what to do. I am constantly amazed at the number of strategies they seem to have!

I hope you find some answers hun. It really is hard to deal with.

[boomba]

Hope you can get through to him soon xx