Hi Ladies, I have a bit of a problem. DD has in the last week started parroting a very innapropriate phrase that she's picked up from somewhere. It involves the 'f' word so I want to put a stop to it ASAP.
I've tried ignoring it, tried gently telling her it's a naughty word and not to say it, I've tried yelling at her in the hope of getting her attention, I've tried time out - nothing is working, she keeps saying it.
I was in tears over this tonight. She's such a beautiful little girl and to hear it coming out of her mouth upsets me terribly.
Has anyone had this happen?? What can i do to make her stop? She's only 2 and I don't think she understands.
Personally just keep ignoring it.. Tell her not to say it in public.. explain the shops ect.. that way you can contol it to just the house and work on it there. Maybe say,.. why dont you say this instead..
My 2 eldest have been thru this and I am sure my youngest will pick ip up eventually..
Introduce a more fabulous word instead. For example, a friend had great success using Sugar Marugga (make it interesting using the pitch and tone of your voice). Same goes for Holy Moly, or any other fun exclamations you can think of. Use them to saturation point for a few days, ignore the swearing, and eventually your words will get picked up because they are more 'fun'.
With my neice we'd say something that sounded similar so that she thought she wasn't saything word similarly. Like she'd say F and we'd say Duck? Where's a duck? And she'd look at us blankly... then she stopped saying it.
Now that my daughter is older I have never heard her say a rude word, luckily. If I say it I get in trouble, and she knows the words because we listen to songs with explicit language but she and I have made a bargain, she can listen to the music I listen to provided she never repeats the naughty words. She agrees.
I have a very smart little girl so in a way i'm lucky. Ignoring it just allowed her to use it in other ways so after hearing her sing the f word to mary had a little lamb, I sat down and explained to her naughty words such as the "f" and the "stupid" words. She took it in and now when she hears the teen next door saying it i get the "Um-Ah mummy he said F@#$" She hasn’t used it since.
K
Cailin, we have a similar situation at our house. DD is nine, and has always listened to music with certain lyrics (within reason) but she knows what is appropriate language to repeat and what is not. She also knows that adults use these words and sometimes it's ok, but it's not socially acceptable for children to.
I also agree with Marydean's suggestion. We had a few issues with Maggie picking up bad language from when we were driving (hard not to come out with something when there is a near accident). So we started saying "Oh, Oo!" when she swore and made fun with it " Oh, Oo, Maggie O!". She soon started saying "Oh O" and still says it now if drops something etc.
Hi Willow,
I was just wondering how you went with your little one swearing?
My 2.5yr old son has started swearing at home and out in public, he now seems to know the power of the word (F)and whenever he wants to get his own way he comes out with it.
He realises how much it embarresses me in public so knows now he can demand whatever he likes.
Also at home I am at breaking point, he comes right up to my face and just keeps saying it, I have tried time out, smacking, taking toys away, the old "wait until Dad comes home" trick, pretending he is saying something else and ignoring him but nothing is working!
I recently had another baby (8wks old) so I know he is trying to adjust to a big change but I am at a loss as to what to try next, ignoring is just NOT working!
Please help!
bocajhoan and willow - I have the same problem. My little 3 yr old dd is also saying the dreaded "f" word. Luckily she is not saying it all the time. I have told her not to say the "f" word (that is exactly how I put it) So if she hears something now with "f" in it she races and tells me one of the other kids have said the "f" word. However she still will sing "f***,f***. Now when I know that she has said it - I let her know that I am not happy. It has been a few days since I have heard it, so I am hoping that it is the end of it for me. If she happens to say it again, I rather like marydeans response.
when my children have used socially unacceptable words i have ignored them totally. i don't use the word - "naughty" at all, even to talk about a word as i believe it can lead to children thinking they are naughty if they use that word. children use all words they have heard - hence learn how to use the language spoken - and if they have heard a swear word and have a great reaction from a loved one well they are going to use it again. my older children have used swear words - seldomly - as pre schoolers but with a lack of response or reaction realised it didn't get them anything or mean anything so stopped using it. neither of them swear ever now - that i know of i think that maybe if the toddler has gotten a great reaction initially it might take some time of ignoring the word until they are bored with it - keep ignoring it will work
beckles
I tried Marydean's suggestion of using a funny word or phrase and at first she cracked up and this worked for about 2 days. Then she started saying it again.
I just ended up ignoring her completely because she'd say it and then look at me for a reaction.
I'm very happy to report that this seems to have worked and we haven't had any 'f' bombs dropped for about 2 weeks now. We did have a relapse of about a day but hasn't happened since.
So my experience has been - ignore it and be patient (and brave when in public! thankfully DD never said it in public) and eventually they'll forget about it and stop saying it. It might take a few weeks but nothing else worked for us.
Cailin, MD Maddy also listens to music we listen to, which includes a Balinese Heavy Metal CD with the F word in it a few times!
She knows she can sing along with us, but not with or to others & knows it's not acceptable language for a child to use.
Indah says "Oh Sh*t!" every now & then (learnt from my Mum!) we just ignore it, or say something else!!!
Thanks guys - I think I will just try to be patient and ignore him.
It seems to come out when the attention he used to get is not given so there are other issues there which I need to address (ie - trying to split my attention between the new little one and the toddler).
Great to hear it is not just me though!
Thanks again
Interesting thread... we didn't really have this issue with my DD because the first time she was exposed to bad language was when we lived next door to an awful man who also used to play very loud music with explicit language and who used to abuse us over the fence too... so she quickly associated bad language with awful people. The guy was plain scary. Now as she is older (12) she still hasn't said a swear word other than 'sh*t' when she has an accident... but that's mainly because DH and I sometimes say it. She has heard many many people who she feels uncomfortable around using the "f" word so she just doesn't think it's a nice or cool word to use. I hope it stays this way!
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HELP - DD is swearing
i think that maybe if the toddler has gotten a great reaction initially it might take some time of ignoring the word until they are bored with it - keep ignoring it will work
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