Please don't think that you have "ruined" her. My brother always said that babies wake up after about two weeks, and thats the time you know they are in the house!! (although I think mine "Woke up" at around day 3..lol)
Have you got a sling or something to put her in during the day to help settle? Or maybe a hammock or something to bounce her to sleep? I put DS to sleep mostly on the couch when he was a young bubba, and just sat next to him patting his back (he was a tummy sleeper) until he went to sleep, and then I could be there quickly if he stirred to pat him back to sleep.... I was pretty desperate to try anything, and that was before I found out about slings or hammocks!!!!
Sorry not too much help, but hang in there, you are doing a GREAT job.
There is a place here in Perth called Ngala who you can talk to about sleep and settling techniques. They are really helpful. My friend gave me their book called "Secrets of Good Sleepers" for my baby shower and it is my bible. Even when I can't get anything to work at times, it helps just to read the tips. I am sure you could give Ngala a ring (they have a website) for some advice...
Oh i went through the same thing. I remember that night like it was yesterday.
She is 13w now, and its still rare for her to have a sleep for more than 20 mins. I have learnt that she will only be happy to be put to sleep after 9:30 pm, to which ill change nappy, wrap, feed, and into her cot. She will usually drift off to sleep.
Im sorry, i cant really help you as im still trying to figure it all out myself. Im considering a hammock though, if we do go down that path ill let you know how it goes.
Oh and please dont think you 'ruined' her coz you soo havent. Ive heard babies need to be helped to be put to sleep (rocking, patting, singing, gently bouncing, what ever works), because they dont know how to by themselves.
Give Ngala a call, hopefully you will find them helpful. all the best. And if you find the miriacle trick, please let me know, coz im dying to know
Your little one is acting like a really, really normal baby. This stage won't last very long.
Many babies spend a week or two "sleeping off the birth". This fits in with what our society considers to be normal - so visitors peek into the crib and coo "oh, what a good baby" And by about 2 and a half weeks we are just quietly congratulating ourselves that it's because we are "good parents" Then they wake up - and we go into a spin. But, a good baby is a baby who demands, loudly and often, to be fed. So on those grounds, you have one of the best.
Two weeks ago she was in your tummy, rocked by your movement, fed continually, hearing your voice, your breathing and your heart. All that has changed. The closest she can get to what she has known for her entire existance is being in your arms, at your breast, next to your heart. Gradually, she will adjust. Remember the arsenic hour? (OK, hours) it's that period of time in the evening - a few hours, when they, yes, need 8 boobs to get to sleep. Now we call it cluster feeding - nothing to do with you, by the way, it's them. It's their scratchy, irritable time of the day.
I wonder if she has been weighed yet? Back to her birthweight? Feeding 8-12 times in 24hrs? Lots of wet and pooey nappies? Then, she's doing fine. As others have said, with a toddler around as well, a sling can be a lifesaver. Don't be afraid to pop her in bed with you if your are really exhausted (as long as you are not drugged or drunk) The first 6 weeks or so are tough going, but she'll settle, and you'll get through it
Regards
Barb
I think Barb's advice is excellent. I just wanted to pop in and tell you that your babies are not bad...........they are normal children, behaving exactly as they should. And you have done nothing wrong, you haven't 'ruined' her at all. Try the sling, it will likely save your sanity with a toddler around as well Good luck.
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all the best. And if you find the miriacle trick, please let me know, coz im dying to know 
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