Yeah i found that chapter really interesting too (its in Grilles book Parenting for a Peaceful World - one of my fav thought-provoking books!). It's hard to retrain ourselves though, probably because the most familar way to parent is the way we were parented, and my parents definately used a lot of praise. I don't think i was damaged by it , and TBH I've always been proud that my parents used that method rather than physical punishment

Evan just drew on his chalk board and wanted me to look at it - my natural reaction was to say "well done, that looks great!" but since i'd just read that article I instead said "oh i love the blue squiggles! Did you enjoy drawing that?". i need something on the fridge to remind me of alternatives to praise i think!!