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Thread: seriously risky dad - help!

  1. #1

    Default seriously risky dad - help!

    this problem has been going on for a while so i thought i might ask you wise people for some advice.
    dh drives a 1.5tonne truck - if you know the Ford Transit vans - one of those high top and with a front row seat only.
    small problem is dh is 2 (almost 3) and loves the truck.
    Massively frustrating BIG problem is dh seems there is no problem with letting a 2yr old drive in the middle seat of the front of the truck.
    i have spoken to him and said it is not safe -- there are enough things in this world we have no control of ..etc.. and that here we have a safety issue that needs to addressed. bla bla.. he doesn't seem to agree and says its perfectly safe.
    i put my foot down a few weeks ago and said no truck to my ds (maybe when he's 16) and after a few yells and screams he accepted it and i made dh take him in my car whenever he needed to. Lately dh has decided, yet again, that its not an issue and there is no problem with taking ds in the truck.
    HELP!! its a major problem - of course you all realise this.. but i dont know how to get this through his head..(this is only one of the many problems that arise due to dh's lack of parental responsibility) but this is bothering me profusedly at the moment..and endangering my child's life.
    Thanks in advance


  2. #2

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    Surely its not legal - if you can't get him concerned for your son's safety maybe you can get him concerned about the fines he could incur?

    Maybe if he says he drives safely say yes, but not everyone else drives safely - DS needs to be properly restrained, in the back seat of a car in case of idiots?

    Dunno its a tough one.:hugs: Good Luck

  3. #3

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    OK, it sounds like logic is not working here. So bring out the big guns ... tears! Tell DH how worried and upset you are and then start crying.

    My DH sometimes just won't listen to rational thinking and I'm not a very emotional person and don't like people to see me upset on the rare occasions that I am. But gee, he turns into a different person when I let down my guard and start talking about my feelings rather than what's right and wrong.

    Sorry if that sounds manipulative but in this situation I think it's warranted.

  4. #4

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    If crying doesn't work (which it probably will), I'd threaten actual bodily harm.

    No really,its very serious. This is not a matter of opinion.

  5. #5

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    Whilst I don't condone it, I have at one stage installed a child seat in a ute and had a child in it....
    I found this in the Vicroads site.
    When can children sit in the front seat?

    While it is legal it is not safe nor is it recommended. The back seat offers far greater protection in a crash than the front seat so it is recommended that you fill the back seat first.
    If children are big enough to use a lap/sash seat belt, use the back seat first.
    If in a van/utility, use a properly constructed seat with a child restraint if appropriate, or seat belt.


    Can a restraint go in the front seat of van or utility?

    It is legal to fit a child restraint in the front of a utility or van provided there is a seat belt and a child restraint anchorage point available.
    Restraint fitting stations can install a variety of devices that can ensure the safe operation of restraints in these sorts of vehicles.
    If there is a passenger airbag in the seating position occupied by a child using a car seat, it is recommended that the seat be moved as far back as possible while still allowing correct seat belt fit.
    If there is a passenger airbag in the seating position occupied by the child, you must not use a rearward facing infant restraint.


  6. #6

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    Was about to post what Jess did from the Vic Roads site, not an ideal situation, but if he is going to continue then at least get a proper restraint installed.

  7. #7

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    Yep, that's fine. Ive had dd in a panel van and a ute. All properly restrained and fitted BUT if there is a car available - that's the way to go.

    You have to be careful of the airbags too...

  8. #8

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    Great minds think alike Astrid!

  9. #9

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    In regular seatbelt or with a child restraint?

    Google adult seatbelt accident children and see what the research suggests....

  10. #10

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    thank you all for your posts..
    it just upsets me greatly as it is a 'truck' so its higher than a ute or van and just doesn't seem like having a proper child restraint would do the trick. i know that if someone eg. from school or on the street would comment that it isn't safe he would listen straight away - but when it comes from me its a dif story.
    i will keep perservering though!

  11. #11

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    next time he goes for a ride with the baby in the front without a proper restraint, call the police and dob him in!! they will pull him over, tell him off, and give him a fine. i know this is manipulative but if he is not going to listen to reason then make him listen to the cold hard facts from a police officer and then feel the pain of paying the fine.

  12. #12

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    I'm not sure if you're in VIC, but I also found this in the RACV website.

    The law and standards on child restraints


    The law states that children under one year must be carried in an approved child restraint. Child restraints must be suitable for the child's size and weight and properly fitted and adjusted. Approved restraints carry the Australian Standards AS/NZ1754 sticker.

    what does the law say?

    It is the driver's responsibility to ensure that passengers under 16 years of age are properly restrained in a seat belt or approved child restraint.

    Penalties for drivers not ensuring their passengers, under the age of 16, are properly restrained involve a fine of $165 and three demerit points or, if convicted in court, a fine of up to $500 and three demerit points. Possible suspension or cancellation of licence may also apply.

    Exemptions apply as follows:

    • If a child under one is travelling in a taxi and a suitable restraint is not available, provided the child does not travel in the front seat.
    • If a child is travelling in a police or emergency vehicle.
    • If a child has a medical condition or physical disability that makes it impractical to use a child restraint, and the driver has a certificate from a doctor indicating this is the case.

    what are the standards for child restraints?

    By law every child restraint sold in Australia must meet strict requirements, which are set out in Australian Standard AS/NZ1754. This covers materials, design, construction, performance, testing and labelling of child restraints. All restraints must carry the Australian Standard AS/NZ1754 sticker.

    Most overseas child restraints, including restraints from countries such as the UK and USA, do not comply with these Standards and cannot legally be used in Australia.

    Australian Standard AS/NZ1754 states that purchasers should destroy the entire restraint if it is in a severe crash, even if no damage is obvious.

    background on the australian standard for child restraints

    Australian Standard for child restraints was first introduced in 1973. This standard is one of the toughest in the world, and demands an extremely high degree of protection for a child. The ztandard requires dynamic (crash) testing of restraints and features that significantly improve performance in a crash. One of the main features of the standard is the use of a top tether strap to an anchor point for infant restraints, child car seats, child harnesses and some booster seats.

    Ongoing development of the Australian Standard will see better side impact testing to further improve the performance of child restraints. There has also been consideration of a new attachment system allowing a child restraint to be installed in the vehicle without the need for the use of the seat belt. Known as ISOFIX or LATCH systems, these have been developed under the International Standards Organisation (ISO) that has established an International Standard for child restraints. At this stage the decision has been made to continue with more rigorous testing of this new system, including the improvements to side impact tests, before changes to the Australian Standard are made.

  13. #13

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    i just mentioned to my dad that maybe i will call hthe cops and dob him in (funny thing is that the truck has signage on it about obeying the law - yet he blatantly doesn't).. i will see if it continues and will take drastic measures..
    safety is NO.1 and i have the freakiest thoughts sometime that this would definitely prevent them.
    thanks all

  14. #14

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    Only problem is, what he is doing is not illegal.

    But maybe enlist some help. Ask some friends to mention it to him as well. If enough people get on his back about it, I'm sure he'll give in eventually.

    And, in all honesty, I'm trying to come up with reasons why getting in a 1.5 tonne truck with the child would be easier than getting in the var and driving somewhere ... and coming up blank.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Schmickers View Post
    And, in all honesty, I'm trying to come up with reasons why getting in a 1.5 tonne truck with the child would be easier than getting in the var and driving somewhere ... and coming up blank.
    We had one of those vans and used it all the time, they are not that huge, just nice and high. For us it was easier due to the driveway set up, the business paid for the petrol and I was not driving back then. I spoke to DH about this one as an ex transit driver and a driver of heavy ridged trucks (12 pallet etc). The main concern is the kid going through the windscreen, due to the height and weight of the vehicle you would just drive over a car in an accident. I asked him would he put DD in a van or a truck and he said yes so long we had a proper restraint installed. So in the case of a booster one with an anti submarine clip is very important.

    Would I feel comfortable with DD in a transit or a truck? Only if it was necessary (I had the car and he had to pick her up) and she was properly restrained.

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