I exclusively pumped for nearly 2 months while DD was in hospital. It's not fun, it's not easy. It's hard work, and now that I'm BF'ing DS I can honestly say that BF'ing is so much easier and more enjoyable. (although it wasn't so fun the first few days).
And being 6 days PP, there is NO way I'm thinking about going to the gym or losing weight. I can still barely walk around the house without getting too puffed. I just have no energy yet.
I think a young mum's group would be good for her, as well as some antenatal and breastfeeding classes.
The thought of a newborn CIO in their own room makes me cry.
There's some really good advice here. I hope everything works out.
PZ, you want to give advice for the best reasons - because you believe you will help a mother have realistic expectaions and help her child.
Personally, I never liked "you should" advice. But I loved hearing stories about "When my child was that age I did XYZ", even when XYZ was completely different to what I planned to do/was doing/did.
Whatever you do, as TFB has intimated, don't 'should'! 'Could' is much better, because it opens it up to the listener that it's something they can decide to take up (informed choice), rather than being prescribed a course of action, which no-one likes 'Shoulding' also implies that the person must come into line with the values of the speaker, and that's why 'shoulds' sit so badly with people, because we all come from such different value bases, and 'should-ing' someone tells them that you think their values are wrong, instead of letting them evaluate which values need adjusting to achieve a desireable goal.
Make sense? You'll get so much further by changing your language, because when you choose your language carefully you are automatically changing your approach to a more considerate one that cares about the person you're speaking to
All I can say is that if my SIL didn't inform me of the importance of BF'ing, wraps/slings, birth and well pretty much everything I would be a totally different parent right now!
I know I find it hard sometimes still sleeping with my 4.5 and 2.5 yr old and other lil things but I wouldn't have it any other way.
So I would talk to her and as others have said put her onto some websites, books to have a look at. At least then she will have the knowledge and then still choose what she wishes to do.
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'Shoulding' also implies that the person must come into line with the values of the speaker, and that's why 'shoulds' sit so badly with people, because we all come from such different value bases, and 'should-ing' someone tells them that you think their values are wrong, instead of letting them evaluate which values need adjusting to achieve a desireable goal.
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