I always do what you do, Dach. I always tell Jacob to be gentle and demonstrate what that means, by touching him on the arm softly etc etc.

Also, if I find he's being a bit rough with me or he whacks me/DH with something, I get at his level, look him in the eye and tell him "We don't hit Jacob, that hurt Mummy. What do we do when we hurt somebody? We say "sorry" and give a kiss and a cuddle" - and I'd say 7 - 8 times out of ten, he listens to what I'm saying and actually does try to at least give you a cuddle. I then immediately distract him with something else (where possible) so that he knows that we don't 'dwell' on these things and that once the problem has been 'resolved' that we move on IYKWIM?

The rest of the time he'll get shirty straight away so I just go straight to distracting him if I can. But I do feel that he's learning that we need to say sorry/make amends if he hurts someone and that he knows what it means.

So I think with having said that perserverance is the key? I know it's hard and I still get really worried about it, but I figure that we need to just be consistent with our approach to it and that he's testing some boundaries and needs to start learning that there are consequences to his actions if that makes sense?