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Thread: Teary 3 year old...don't know what's wrong :(

  1. #1

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    Default Teary 3 year old...don't know what's wrong :(

    Just wondering if anyone might have some ideas.



    My little girl is 3.5 and for the last few days she's been extremely sensitive and just starts crying at the slightest provocation. Can be happy one minute and in tears the next. At kindy yesterday they said she wasn't herself all day, and today she's the same. She doesn't seem sick or anything, she says she feels fine.
    She's also been talking alot about our old house and our cat who stayed behind with the new owners - but we moved from there 9 months ago and I can't even believe she remembers it! When we lived there we had a pretty quiet life and a fairly samey routine because the kids were so young and she is a creature of habit and has always thrived on routine since she was quite young.
    Right now things are a bit all over the place and have been for a while - I am in and out with no predictability for client visits and births.
    DH thinks she is missing the security and predictability we had at our old place, not so much the house itself.
    My poor little girl she is always so happy go lucky, do you think this might be the problem (or any other suggestions as to what it might be?) and if so how can I help her feel more secure?

  2. #2

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    Oh Tobily, big hugs. It is so hard to know what is going on sometimes isn't it?

    As you know, Jack is just a little bit younger than Emily, and he also is going through a teary (and naughty!!) spell. I think in our case it might be related to the change in our situation - me starting ft work and DH being a SAHD. He loves being home with DH, but I wonder if it is unsettling none-the-less for him to have this change and not really understand why.

    In your case, it could be because of your change in circumstances too, with the call-outs etc. This does not mean that you should feel guilty, but being aware of it can help you to minimise the impact. Perhaps find something special you can do with Emily when you get back, which is just for the two of you? I know that Tom usually runs straight up to me for a cuddle when I get home and I can sense that Jack feels left out. So I try extra hard to engage with him first, before giving my attention all to Tom. You could also try explaining to her where you are going and why - maybe even take some photos of the babies that you can show her when you get home. And if you know that a call-out is imminent, prepare her for that. And of course lots of extra cuddles are always a hit!

    GL, I hope that this passes quickly.

  3. #3

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    Thanks Manta
    Some really great ideas there which I'm trying. We think she may have had a dream about the old house which has triggered all this, she's going on about it again today... "I want to go and live at my house" etc. I took her for a drive past this morning after we took DH to work, big mistake I think she just got even more wound up
    I let her sleep with me last night and she was reaching out all night to check I was still there poor little possum...so it's definitely some sort of security thing.
    I guess it's really thrown us because she's never been a kid who is like that, always been very independent in everything and she has just done a complete about face.
    Kids...jeez life is never boring huh.

  4. #4

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    I don't have children yet, but my first thought was they could be having some seperation anxiety.

  5. #5

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    Tobily, we moved house a year ago and Jack was very unsettled by it. One day we just pulled into the garage after grocery shopping and he burst into tears saying "go back mummy, go back". I asked him where he wanted me to go back to and he said "the other house". Then he asked "why don't we live there anymore". That was the first time a change had rattled him - he had started kindy, I'd gone back to work, he'd changed kindys - no problem. He'd moved bedrooms, moved into a bed, no problem. Moved house, problem. It must be so unsettling for them. Interestingly enough he also mentioned the old house the other day out of the blue - it's amazing what they remember isn't it?

  6. #6

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    It's amazing what little ones remember, I'm sure her mood will pick up.
    My daughter has days like that, more so when she's over tired.
    I'd just keep an eye on her I'm sure she'll be fine.

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