Time Out - how to make it work???

[meow]

Perhaps you could try asking in the main parenting section- time out doesn't fall under gentle parenting techniques.

All the best- two year olds are a challenging breed

[HotI]

Depends on your definition. Many people try time out and would consider themselves to follow gentle parenting techniques.

Time out & time in are included in the 'Science of Parenting', a book which i think is used by gentle parents.

To the OP, you might find some tips in the 'Science of Parenting', maybe your little one is a bit young for Time Outs, and you could try something else for now. Sorry i don't have more advice.

[Fig]

Thanks Kate07. Yes we use time ins and time outs as suggested in the Science of Parenting book, but in that book it suggests putting them in a room and closing the door which is what we have been doing, but she now thinks its a big joke. She is 3 and quite developmentally advanced so has worked out its not much of a deterrant.

I do consider myself to be a gentle parent. Even gentle parenting needs to be able to set limits on behaviour. There are just some behaviours that require a consequence rather then a discussion about ones feelings. Hence, why I posted in the gentle parenting section, but if you can't be a gentle parent and use discipline (which doesn't mean smacking, just correcting behaviour) then can my post be moved please.

Yeddi: Yes I agree that with some kids it might not work. I am just finding it hard to find her currency. She doesn't really watch TV, if I take her beloved toys off her she just says "bye bye" and goes off to find something else to play with. Removing my attention does seem to be the only currency she has, but I need to find a way to remove it without a lot of attention being given to her.

[Mak]

I am not sure if this will be classed as gentle so apologies if it is inappropriate. We have tried to get DD1 to stand in a set spot she has to then tell us when she is ready. Then she explains why she is there (checks she actually understands what the unacceptable issue is) and why and then we talk about other ways to deal with the feelings etc that has caused the action/behaviour. The idea is to clarify the unacceptable behaviour and try to formulate a plan for how to otherwise deal with it. I was sceptical but it has really helped her in not spiralling out of control into a massive meltdown and she seems to take some of the alternatives in. She is not removed from the area as we too found time out not helpful - also she can stand up anywhere so very portable. Interestingly we have not had to do it that frequently after the initial few months. We started this at about 3-3.5yo.
xxx

[onthefly]

Maybe it would be good to consider some other options for dealing with specific behaviours you find unacceptable if the time outs aren't working.

I've never used timeouts, but I must admit that DS doesn't often do things that are really all that bad, so possibly talking out of my arse here - we describe actions and talk about why they are not good. DS sometimes spits his food on the floor for eg.
You spit your food out. (describing action)
I don't like that - now I have to clean it up. (describing impact on me and why I don't like it)
I guess you've finished your dinner now [take food away] (describing consequence of his action)

Sometimes DS gets into a whirl of emotions and will scream and carry on, maybe throw things or hit. I can't really talk to him when he's like that, but I let him know I'm nearby if he needs me and remove anything or move away if he's hitting/throwing. Once he calms down he'll come and have a hug.