Thanks for the ideas - I had thought of a dummy but had assumed he would be a bit old to take to one - I did try one a month or so back and he just mucked around with it (tries giving to me, throws in the air etc) but maybe wasn't a great one? (one in a freebie bag). He obviously used to find sucking comforting as sucked thumb till six months ish and was dream sleeper then (although did fight it a little but not for long)

Music and lights tried and although he likes the light no difference. I don't think over tired as even if had long 2.5 hour sleep at home makes no diff and he is at daycare two days and often has thre hours there. Only successful evenings recently is when had been so tired (less than hour asleep) has fallen asleep feeding - he then will wake 40 mins later but is easy to resettle. But it seems unfair to let him.get that tired and just moves problem to daytime as not much nap break for me either.

I will look up salycates as no idea, but he is a great eater and have mucked around with tea time trying to increase time between that and bedtime to no avail. Sometimes he is practically dragging me to room to lay down and feed and can see he is tired but perks up post feed and just increases my confinement to room tonight started bedtime at 6:15.

Neither of us have backs that can cope with moving DD so can't really start her elsewhere we have tried letting her stay up a bit if she isn't exhausted but so far he has still been awake when time for her to sleep.

Very reluctant to reintroduce cot as I really struggle with the lifting in and out and can't get him to lay down in it without lifting him down. I think would choose the evening nap over the back and neck issues to honest.

No idea why in day he will fall asleep feeding no prob but at night he won't. DH was trying to work out difference - and why settles in stroller so well and I think in stroller he knows can't move so just gives in. In bed he won't even have blanket or doona on him - and you can't tie them down to bed :-). Have thought about maybe letting him go to sleep in stroller and transferring but not sure if want to start that path.