Vent: *Shudder* It goes against all my mummy instincts!

[Floweryfields]

:yeahthat:

This is what I was trying to say as well. I can't just tell her the way I do things because the way she does things offends and upsets me. I am the one with the problem, I am the one who has to deal with it. She is not saying she has any issues with the way things are for them. The baby is happy enough. There are absolutely no signs of any abuse or neglect (as such). This is my job, and I come into contact with many many different parenting styles. This is just the first time I have encountered a family who have done so many things that go against my own beliefs and practices. And I just get upset when he's upset with his routines. He's still so little.

asugirl, I would be pretty pee'd off too if someone did things I asked not to be done for my little one. And though I did wrap him that one time, I was not aware we were not supposed to. If I am having a really difficult time dealing with doing things mum has asked to do for baby, I will usually ask someone else to do it instead. Like feeding solids. I asked one of the other girls to do it today. I just couldn't do it. I have explained to my director why and she's ok with it.


Thanks everyone for your understanding and suggestions. I appreciate it It's hard to go against instincts in a situation which deals with a baby so young.
But, I want to reiterate that I don't doubt that mum is doing what she thinks is best. And it might be best for the family. It just goes against my own practices, which is why I labelled the thread a vent!!

It it tough hey? Seeing things, parenting styles, etc that just about break your heart, some people just don't know any better and do the best they can - I do think it's fine to 'offer' tidbits of advice though - which I casually do from time to time.

[summers_mum]

Slightly off subject but I just wanted to say hoorah for professional carers like you who see our kids as more than just a job. As long as mum's requests are being adhered to (whether by yourself or other staff members) there is no harm in feeling the way you do. You obviously genuinely care for this little fellow and this is extra love and nurturing that can only benefit him in every way ...

[MrsFabuloso]

Awww, summers mum, you have honestly just made my day. Thankyou

[widdly]

I had tears in my eyes reading the OP That poor little guy. Why did that Mum have him if she didnt want to nurture him? I know that is harsh but that is how I feel about it. He is so young to be treated like that. I had a severe reflux baby and he didnt sleep for the first year unless I held him upright and rocked him, otherwise he was in constant pain.

Please give this bubba lots of love and cuddles

[Jen27]

Lilias

my dd isn't in childcare but if she was I would want someone like you to look after her. Its great that you are so obviously caring for this little boy. I don't envy your situation but sounds like you are doing a wonderful job

[MrsFabuloso]

Thanks Jen. I do try to do the best job I can, as so many childcare workers do!

An update on the little man, he is absolutely devine and is doing well. He's such a good little man!He is just 6mths now. Trying very hard to sit up, and rolls absolutely everywhere, put him down in one spot and you'll find him all the way across the room in 1minute flat, lol!

Thanks again everyone for being so symapathetic. It's hard to go by someone else's parenting beliefs when they aren't your own, when the children are sooo little, and when research suggests the practices may not be best for bub.

[2CheekyMonkeys]

so, did you end up just going with the flow? or did you give some casual advice here and there? good to hear he is doing well and yeah it would have been a very hard situation for you to deal with.

[MrsFabuloso]

I didn't actually see her until the other day, about a week ago. My frustration and anger (?? for wont of a better word!) has dissipated a little by then, thankfully. Otherwise I would have probably gone over board.

[LiddlePixie]

I don't have any advice for you but i did want to say;
Thankyou for being in childcare! My daughter goes 2 days a week & It's because of loving, nurturing carers like you that i know i don't have to worry about her not being looked after well - It makes me so happy that a lovely person like you is watching over our bubs when we can't Xo

ETA: I just noticed someone else wrote something similar, Great minds..

[Kmn]

I think it is OK to report on the effects you observe on the baby. Things like: "first 150ml went in easily, additional 50 huge struggle, bigger puke than on smaller bottle" is not a criticism, it's a fact.
"Still gagging with solids" is likewise. "Cried for 40 minutes until rocked" is also a fact.
Mum may actually not be aware of the consequences of some of the changes.

It's hard to remember that most kids of the 1950's turned in to happy, functioning adults too!