You're doing a fab job. I could have written a lot of your post myself - I have a few posts in the no-cry sleep area with LOADS of advice in which didn't work for me but may work for you.

DS now sleeps through really well, we took him to the homeopath. He not only sleeps well but acknowledges that he's tired too now, before he'd just go and go and go and... drop. Now he starts to yawn, exhibits normal tired behaviour like wobbling on his feet and forgetfulness, he calms down around bedtime, he gets tired like a normal person! He also goes to sleep just holding a finger belonging to either DH or me and then that's it for the night. He doesn't need much sleep but usually gives us about 11 hours overnight then maybe an hour or so in the day. That's "too little" for a toddler but everyone's different.

Your reward isn't a baby that sleeps as a tot but a child who is secure in their parents' love: this will pay off big time as your child ages.