Its a shame your ABA group isn't that great, mine is full of co-sleeping, baby wearing, extended BFing types which I like, makes me feel a bit more "normal" - not that I care anyway really, just sometimes its nice to fit in rather than stand out. I'd probably try the playgroup then too.
Same, my ABA group is awesome in its diversity AND acceptance of that diversity
My response to "he'll be in your bed at 12", or "he'll stay on the boob if you let him" is to say "Good, I hope so" with a smile! Even if I might not want a 12 year old in my bed (not big enough!), the fact that their judgment has not modified my planned behaviour throws it right back in their court so that they can have it (their attitude) and think about it, if they can be bothered. I especially like to say "good, I hope so" when someone (usually childless, sometimes not) says about the co-sleeping "better be careful, he'll get used to it". At best, they'll question their own assumptions, at worst they'll think I'm a weirdo. Either way, it gets them off my case so that they don't disturb me with their ignorance again
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