If people ask us when we will be moving DS out of our room, we simply say, hopefully before he is 15. Then just change the subject. It rarely comes back up in conversation.
Does anyone really need to know in the first place? If it comes up I wouldn't say anything simply because it's none of their business - just as the way their child sleeps isn't really any of your business either kwim? It's not something you should 'hide' by not saying anything, but I would just shrug it off - you have to do whatever it is that gives both of you the max amount of sleep you can get - for some that will be co-sleeping and for others it will be cot sleeping because not all babies will do what you want them to do because they don't read parenting books
We actually have our youngest back in our room in his cot because he sleeps better in our room than he did in with his brother and I don't know when we will move him back. He wont have a bar of cosleeping anymore so I don't push the issue because there is no point.
Im living with my parents atm so i feel like everything i do gets questioned, but i know im doing the best i can. for me co sleeping has given me abit more sleep during the night as dd feels more secure and safe with me next to her and so up untill now it has felt like the right thing for me to do. i kno my mum means well but it is knocking my confidence.
so true though DD wont be sleeping with me forever one day she will grow up and be independent of me but for now im just making the most of her cuddles wen we do co sleep thanks everyone for your replies even though i prob didnt make much sense lol
Last edited by Butterfly Child; September 24th, 2009 at 02:23 PM.
People are so affraid of fully embracing their children, in fear of them being to 'relient' (SP)
Annabelle co slept for ages! And still sometimes does, but boy does she let me know when she wants to sleep on her own.
I have got to a point with people where I turn around and say "im not afraid of nurturing and loving my child."
I know I have got nasty but I dont believe for a second co sleeping can be anything but good for your bond.
I mean really is she going to be sleeping with you whens she's 20??? No she's going to have her own life, enjoy her while you can
As long as you teach at the same time, inderpendance etc
We co-slept and copped the negative comments too, especially off family members. DS has slept perfectly even when he was put into his own bed. So much for people telling us he would be in with us until he ws 21.
There is nothing nicer than sleeping with your baby, especially when it allows you to get more sleep! DH and I are quite sad sometimes that DS is a big boy and would prefer to sleep by himself. We talk alot about when he slept with us, and some nights DH will say "Let's just go get him and put him in our bed. I want a cuddle".
Or he will just go in and watch him sleep. It is such a special time - don't let other peoples opinions make you doubt yourself!
I so agree with Kass ... we by choice because we wanted to rather then feeling like we had to co-slept with our DD until she was 2.5 ... DP & i both loved it as the bonding feeling was magical and we were open to people knowing about.
In the early days as a newborn she slept in her bassinette at night next to my side of the bed, we didn't have her in our bed then as we had a fear of rolling on her but later on when she was older she slept better in our bed ... and everyone was HAPPY !!
I found at times (and i'm a night owl mind you) hoping into my bed earlier than usual just to feel DD's warm little sweet body (and a little gentle cuddle whilst she slept) & just to hear her breath happily away sleeping ... felt so lovely, and i know i cherished those times as i knew it wouldn't last forever.
During the daytime she slept in her basinette as a baby and in her cot as a toddler.
DD's transition to her single bed was surprisingly not hard ... for the first 2mths she would wake at about 1 or 2am crying and end up in our bed but that was a small price to pay for the wonderful 2.5years she spent co-sleeping with us.
(Mind you about once a week or fortnight now that she is 3 i like to hop into her bed when she has a arvo nap, especially after her one day at Kinder on a Monday & have a cuddle with her ... or allow myself to have a lil nap with her once in a blue moon just to have that feeling of waking up with her.)
I didn't co-sleep with my first 2 kids & did with my third.
All shockingly bad sleepers, lol.
So I don't really think it would have made that much difference, kwim?
I am encouraging Arlea to go off to sleep on her own at the moment & it is working very well (for now ) but I also bring her into bed after her nightime feed, it's just a lovely thing to be able to do.
I have a bit of an issue ATm with people who force you to explain your parenting choices - as long as they are happy & healthy & it's not hurting anyone, it's your choice, right?
lol, Mimimax & hippymummy - I was talking to my neighbour the other day & she complained about the criticism she is getting for cos-leeping & I told her the exact same thing...he won't be doing it when he's 12
As the other ladies have said it's personal preference, but one thing I think your mum may need remind of it that she's had her children!!! It's your turn now to do what you feel is right and she has no right to go in and pick up bub without your permission. Mum's can sometimes completely take over and really need to be put back in their place. Generally my mum is really good about what I do with DD (not that we live together or anything, but I do go and stay with her occationally), but sometimes she over steps the boundry and it took a long while and lot of courage, but I told her not to tell me how to parent... If I ask her advise then I'm open to discussion, if not then its my way! She's always the first one to tell me when MIL is being far too bossy and to stand up to her etc, so now I do it to anyone that wants to put their 2 bobs worth in about my parenting. You are obviously doing a great job with your little princess and you should be proud.. Have faith in yourself and the decisions you make reguarding her. She's your daughter, don't let your mum forget that!
For questions like this, I think its important to look into your heart and ask youself, what feels better? I have found the more I try and rationalise DD's behaviour or try and use my head and "plan" what she "should" be doing, the more frustrated I feel.
I do a combination of DD in her own room and co-sleeping. She is perfectly able to fall asleep without me, but I often want her in bed, or I feel she needs it.
I also have nights where I am over it and need some space (or some DH time ) and so she stays in her room.
A wise mummy said to me - there's no such thing as bad habits (was that you MantaRay?) and I have lived by it ever since.
As long as you're getting enough sleep...does it matter? Go with your heart. If you need space, then put her in her own room. If you feel she can whinge for a bit, do that...if the thought of her being alone sends chills down your spine, then go get her and cuddle her close.
There's a reason why you know best!!! She's YOUR baby!!!!
I co-slept with DS last night and the little whatsit kicked me out of my own bed at 4.30am!
I like to be cuddled to sleep so I don't mind cuddling DS to sleep (although refused to tonight so I'm feeling guilty). I wasn't co-slept with at all as a child. I still like my cuddles as an adult... just not with my parents LOL. Actually, DS has put himself to sleep quite a bit on his own, no crying or whinging. Just me telling him to go to sleep so he lay down and slept. I think the holiday disturbed that. But he was doing it. Won't be going on holiday again until he has been doing it more than a month!
DH loves it that DS comes through to us in the morning, jumps into our bed and wants cuddles with up both. I do too, but I like to have a time limit on as DS chatters then the boys play together and I like sleep sometimes!
eta - he just woke up. Had I asked him what's wrong and patted him and let him grab me and get out of bed into my arms, it takes 10 minutes to get him back to sleep and a lot of screaming (and some from him too LOL). After the guilt from thinking about this, I just hopped onto his bed and held him. Straight back to sleep and rolled over so I could move away after 5 minutes. I love cuddles! But my point was going to be this: cuddley sleep is easier sleep; cuddley sleep is more sleep; cuddley sleep is safe sleep... my boy loves his own bed and if I try to get him to go to sleep in my bed (such as when we've just painted his room) he asks for his own bed and to be on his own. So they grow out of lovely cuddley sleep far too quickly!
Last edited by Ca Plane Pour Moi; September 25th, 2009 at 07:42 AM.
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lol
) but I also bring her into bed after her nightime feed, it's just a lovely thing to be able to do.
- as long as they are happy & healthy & it's not hurting anyone, it's your choice, right?
) and so she stays in her room.
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