If you think he needs feeding then feed him. Routines seem like a great idea but often the little ones don't want to go along with the party and are far more settle when their needs are met quickly. You're getting up at midnight for a dream feed which sort of defeats the purpose. Try the dream feed when you go to bed. They don't work for every baby.
I know you're anxious about how you're going to manage when you go back to work but you will manage. You'll just be used to getting by on less sleep
Thanks for comments. Yes I am very interested in a more gentle approach if anyone has any ideas. He woke up at about 3.50am this morning so I fed him and sat him up on my chest for about 10 minutes before putting him back down without his dummy, so far so good.
But I must admit I would rather give the dream feed a try at around 10-11ish and see how we go from there. Might try that one tomorrow. I guess its trial and error. But its so hard to know what to do when its your first time.
Yes puppies it is very hard to know. I know with my first I tried everything, I read all sorts of books and I tried different techniques. But she only slept for 40 minutes at a time, for 24 hours. Its exhausting and tiring but eventually she slept longer and eventually I learned to trust my instincts better and parent by instinct rather than by a book. Once I did that, I was able to relax and get on with things like work and life. Try reading some other books like "Parenting by Heart" by Pinky McKay... just for balancing different parenting books.
Another thought - this time of year it tends to get cold around 4am. That could be waking him too. But a growth spurt at 3 months is very common, so I would be trying the feed too.
I don't change nappies at night (AM hours anyway) unless they're pooey.. so yeah.. just feed without waking him up too much
Well I am going to try and do the dream feed at 10.30 as suggested. I last fed him at 3pm and bathed him and he has been asleep since 4pm. I will wake him in a minute for another feed and light play and then give him his dream feed at 10.30ish and see what happens.
One of the best pieces of advice I was given when Flynn was first born was this:
"Do not expect to get a full nights sleep for the first 12 mths"
That is not to say that you won't, just don't expect that by such and such an age they will or should be sleeping thru. I think we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves and bub by expecting that they will settle into a lovely routine and sleep thru, unfortunately that is not often the case.
Try and rest when he rests (easier said than done I know, but you really need to try) don't worry if there are things which need to be done. You will be able to tackle them more easily if you are well rested. Try and get to bed a little earlier too. I'm sure your DH can do the last dream feed or you could alternate nights? It will get easier and he will sleep thru one day.
Thanks girls, well my experiment was a DISASTER! I thought I heard him make a noise at about 2.50am so I woke up and he was sound asleep. I thought well I will fed him anyway. So I did not unwrap him, I just picked him up and gave him the bottle. He was sleeping so I had to jiggle him to suck. Then the bottle went cold so he was fussing so I had to warm it up a bit more. Then he took the rest of the bottle. I sat him up for a bit until he burped and then I put him back in his cot. I went back to bed and about 4.30am he woke up crying as per usual. We decided to let him cry a bit and see what happens. So he had the pauses in his crying so I thought well he should just fall back asleep. But nope an hour later he is still crying and I can't handle it any longer. So I go to him to find him soaked in sweat so I change his nappy which was so full it weighed a tonne. I changed his clothes and his wrap and the cloth nappy that I lay on his sheet where he sleeps (saves changing sheets all the time). I gave him a few drops of Infants Friend to calm him down chucked his dummy in and rocked him back to sleep before putting him back down just now. Then I came straight to the computer to tell you all.
What am I doing wrong! It seems that my experiment has resolved nothing other than no matter what time his dream feed is or even if I feed him earlier he is still waking up at about 4am. Why is this happening? I am certainly not expecting him to sleep through although DH is. I try to explain to DH that it won't happen for some time and that we do pretty good with him at his age compared to other babies but he is just not that impressed. He does have high expectations of him which is something I have talked about with him but it seems I have not gotten through to him on that point yet.
Honestly I don't know what to do next. Any other ideas? PLEASE!
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