Thanks for the suggestions and ideas guys. I really appreciate it.
I think you might have knocked the nail on the head. I feel silly for not thinking of this. DH has a really bad knee injury ATM and is due to have an op in the next few weeks (seeing the surgeon on Mon). He is in constant cronic pain so I've been doing pretty much everything to do with the boys. Do you think bub can sense his stress and pain? DH is so highly strung with his pain. I always make sure bub is fed, changed or asleep if he is tired before going out but it seems the moment I leave chaos descends. DH is trying but your right, he is feeling really rejected and I don't blame him.
Dh pretty much holds him the entire time but any weight loading causes his knee to hurt. It's all coming together, I think DS is just feeding off DH's stress. Do you think that is a likely cause?
Yes. Babies feed off stress SO much. Kids do, for a long time. And the more your DH can't settle him, the more stressed he becomes, so the mroe the baby feeds off it, and the cycle continues.
Sounds like it's a really rough time for you guys. See what you can get DH to do for him. Especially nappy changes, they can be a wonderful bonding time. Can you get him to just sit next to you and stroke the baby's legs while he feeds? Or get your DH to make lots of eye contact during the odd feed? That will help.
Anything else you can do to relax your DH while he holds the baby will also help. Music, being outside, whatever.
Having a shower or bath together is a great way to spend time together. If you want put a light nappy on him while in the bath in case he makes a mess.
My DD2 was a pain for years but I still went out. I had to have a break.
Every Thursday night DH would come home and it was his job to feed, bath, read stories and then put the girls to bed. One week I would do the grocery shopping (yeah, I used to enjoy grocery shopping) the other just wander the shops. Never away for long but I needed the break as it was my only time I could have.
Kids are amazing at the way they can pick up your vibes when you are in pain or feeling unwell. I hope you get some answers at the Drs Monday.
This has been happening to us too. DD just wouldn't settle with DH, but would happily go to my mum or my aunt or my female cousin. Only recently has DD been settling with DH and I tell you it is the biggest relief for both me and DH. DH feels that DD has relaxed with him and she easily falls asleep in his arms now and he feels like he CAN do it. We haven't done anything out of the ordinary, just persisted. DD is almost 14 months and it's probably only happened within the last month or so.
It makes a lit of sense now. I discussed the replies in this thread with DH and he admitted that he is so worried when I leave that DS will get upset that he immediately gets stressed. We've decided to let it go for a while and worry about it once DH has had his op. we are going to try to make sure they get plenty of one on one time cuddling while I'm still here and DH is seated so it doesn't hurt his knee. Then we will try again once hubby is back on his feet.
Thank you all so much for helping me think this through
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