I think it depends on the occassion. For my birthday, I do like a surprise from DH and the kids. For xmas, my family only do a KK for the adults and then presents for the kids and we usually give ideas of what to get them. Otherwise, there's a lot of doubling up. Whereas, my DH's family - it has to be a SURPRISE. Always. To the point where you get crap that you don't need or want, every year. When pregnant with DS2, I asked DH's family if they could put in together and get us another change table and that went down like a lead balloon. B/C You're not meant to EVER ask for anything. It's meant to be a surprise. But guess what, we knew we were having another boy, had heaps of clothes and stuffed toys and I thought, I really need another change table and not more plastic, noisy crap. They bought one, but not before 20 questions about why we needed one and that I could pass this on to his sisters when they had kids. Yeah, no strings attached to that present! So, yes, a surprise can be nice, but a practical present (when requested) can be even more appreciated, especially when money is really tight.