Grandmothers shopping with their daughters and their babies still get to me. I don't know how much time has to pass before it feels better. There always seems to be a level of sadness and missing there. Last Mother's Day I had a dream where I got to give my Mum a hug and for a moment I was able to breathe out and be thankful she was with me again and I even said "Thank God you are back, it is so horrible when you are dead". And then you wake up again.

There are just so many feelings about what you are missing, what your kids are missing and while not wishing it on anyone else being slightly jealous everyone else seems to have their Mum in the motherhood phase of their life and you don't. Don't have any wisdom to make it any better, just know I am there with you today too