DH hates Christmas. I'm not massively Christmassy either so it's never really bothered me much... only put a bit of a bit of a dampener on any festive spirit I can muster. But now that we have DD, I want things to change...
I understand that he's not into Santa (doesn't want us to tell her that Santa is 'real'), carols, silly hats, a big ham and tinsel... he thinks these things are cheesy and pointless and that Santa is just a lie. He's not religious - in fact, he has quite an aversion to religion and this contributes to him disliking this particular celebration. I get that he hasn't had a great time with his family and that yes, the whole thing can become a bit of a commercial, materialistic exercise... if you were to buy into all that advertising and hype.
BUT now it's about more than his Grinchy cynicism. I really want to find a way for this to become a happy, positive time of year. I want DD to feel all the excitement and anticipation other kids get to experience. I hope that we can make our own family Christmas traditions and find meaning in this time to share with our precious little one.
So tell me... do you think I can 'turn' the Grinch?!! Any ideas for how I can ignite the Christmas spirit in Mr Cynical?
Sounds exactly like my Dp but he has agreed that once our bub is here he will change for the sake of them. He doesnt want to ruin christmas for them just because he doesnt like it, which i found to be a huge surprise but he loved christmas as a kid, im not sure what happeend to make him hate it now.
Maybe sit him down and say if not for himself for your daughter that he should atleast pretend to like christmas, why would he want his daughter to be the one kid that isnt excited about christmas, instead of thinking it as 'lying' to your daughter making her believe that santa is real but its what helps children with their imaginations, i remember as a kid being a true believer that a little fairy took our teeth when they fell out and left money, that a giant rabbit bounced around with his basket of easter eggs and santa claus flying in his sleigh around the whole world giving everyone presents, it was the best part of being a kid.
He doesnt have to wear stupid christmas hats or sing christmas carols but he can atleast set up a tree, have decorations and talk about santa with his daughter, help her write letters to santa and watch the excitement on her face afterall doesnt he want her to be happy??
These are some of what i said to dp to make him understand why its so important and he told me stories of what his parents did when he was a kid to make him believe santa was real.
leave him at home and go off with the kids and see santa and look at lights and feed off the enthisiasam (sp) and hve a great time with the kids , then come home and brag about the awesome time you had and talk about it all the time , decorate and have carrols playing every day .
once you see tinsel and hear the carrols and the fun the kids are having , hopefully it will rub off on you and then you can annoy your dh about the great time of year it is .
make him jealous ,and tell him hes missing out . eventually if he sees how happy you and the kids and everyone else is , hopefully it will rub off on him and him and he joins in .
does he have anything to be grinchy about ? why doesnt he like xmas ? is he a cynic ?
xmas is great , i hope he soon enjoys it , being unhappy can shorten your life span , tell him to smile
and get him to dress up as santa , once he sees how happy the kids are that santas here , it will be impossible to ge grumpy ...
My DH is a massive grinch, but since the twins have been massively aware of what is going on he has really started to get enthusiastic. I bet the same will happen with your OH, just a natural side effect of being a parent
You may well get lucky and find that his whole mindset changes once bub gets old enough to actually 'know' about Santa and enjoy the Christmas spirit!! DH has always been a bit of a Grinch himself, but I see he has almost turned himself without (too much!) encouragement from me
He's always been a great gift-giver, don't get me wrong, but he never saw the 'point' to Santa photos at the mall, driving around looking at lights, and plastering the lounge room and Christmas tree with tinsel and lights until probably last year. DD1 was a bit over a year old and starting to get excited about presents and feeling the whole 'Christmas spirit' and so now he gets a bit excited despite himself because 'it's all about the kids, now I know what my parents were on about when they said the best Christmas gift they ever got was seeing the kids' faces on Christmas morning' lol
My advice is just to explain how you would like Christmas to be a joyous occasion in your house, for the benefit of the kids. It's not 'lying' about Santa, it's giving them something fun and exciting to look forward to! They will grow out of it one day but I'm sure most of us have really fond memories of our childhood notions of Santa and all the rest, so if he can't bring himself to throw himself into it, ask him to just not ruin it for you and bub. I just bombarded DH with Christmas spirit and eventually the contagion caught on I ignored his bah-humbug cynicism and either took DD1 by myself or with her grandparents to do Christmas-y things, or dragged him along telling him to put on a brave face, and now seeing DD1 getting all stoked about Santa and the rest gets him in the mood for having a good time!
Good luck with it, I hope he can come around and see that whatever his opinions on Christmas, it shouldn't be ruined for the kiddies! It's great fun, doesn't hurt anybody, and will give you as a family some lovely memories and traditions that your kids may well carry into their own lives as parents of their own children! Enjoy that beautiful innocence while it's there, they grow up and stop believing in Santa far too soon!
Just an idea - but what about you and your DH create your own tradition for Christmas time? Rather than following all the usual traditions and hype, do something special just for you and your family?
Thanks for your replies ladies. Sorry it took me ages to respond but it's teething, crawling, pulling-up-on-furniture, chasing-the-dog mayhem here!!
I think I'll go with several of your suggestions. Firstly, I'll just throw myself into it with DD and hope that the enthusiasm is infectious. I've noticed that when he first started reading to her he was reluctant to do silly voices or ham things up - just read the book with a little inflection. Since he's heard me reading and oinking like a pig and doing big gruff voices, whispering etc., I've noticed that he gets more into the stories too. It's funny coz he can be very very silly at times, but I think some of his reluctance may come from a fear of being judged as childish or cheesy. If he can see that Ivy loooves it, he's sure to play along to get her to smile!
Secondly, I think I will try and establish some traditions of our own that don't revolve around those things that he finds 'lame' or 'meaningless' about Christmas... as to what they might be?? Well I don't know. Might start another thread to get the ideas flowing.
Living with the Grinch... can he be 'turned'?!
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