We only have the one toddler - at the moment - and I find it works best if we host the party. DD goes down and sleeps well - though the music can't be as loud as pre-baby - and even if she doesn't and arks up as she did when she was younger I feel more comfortable and relaxed if I am at home so even if I'm dealing with baby stuff I know DD is always more relaxed herself in her own home, own bed, thus so am I. I can still 'participate' in the party as I'm not pacing a strange house looking for somewhere people-free to settle my daughter.