Santa

[Blixie]

Ok i had no idea where to put this so here will do i guess....

Ok my DF and i are expecting our first bub in may but he's already talking about Santa, Easter bunny & tooth fairy.

He doesnt want to teach our child there is such a thing then take that away from them, he would feel he's lying. And in a way he has a point. But i said what about when our child starts spending time with others and tells them there's no such thing. He says with the santa he doesnt want to say there was never someone like that he wants to tell bub about St Nic.

Not trying to offend anyone or tell them how to raise their child but just wondering how others see this situation.

Thanks

[New Dawn]

have to say we never thought of it we just stuck with santa as thats what we were tolded about and I dont remember been to upset when I did find out as it was just apart of growing up. I am dreading the day when DS asks. as I see it as the first step away from childhood.

[blue_hebe]

My DH and I have discussed this and we're not all that keen on the idea on Santa. Part of it is the "lie" and part of it is that it's not the true meaning of Christmas for us. I think the spirit of Santa is good, as in giving to others, but often that gets lost in a very long list of "what I want for Christmas".

In the end it's completely up to you guys no one can tell you want you should and shouldn't do. It might pay to explain that some children believe in Santa and not to spoil their fun....but in the end all kids find out!

[mrsmac]

As a teacher I have found there is always some child whose parents tell them there is no santa etc and sadly that kid usually ends up telling the rest of the class. I see no harm in santa, just a lovely part of childhood, my oldest doesn't believe anymore (obviously LOL) but she never thought I had "lied" to her about it, she embraces it still for her younger siblings. I guess its a personal choice but from what I have seen nearly all children do believe in Santa for the early part of their lives.

[dee73]

I don't think many kids are "upset" at finding out the truth when they're older, and I don't think there's anything wrong with a bit of make-believe or magic.

Next people will be telling their little girls there's no such thing as fairies!!

[Erin_25]

I don't remember being upset either, I suppose I didn't fuss as Santa was the jolly guy who bought us gifts. When we were old enough to learn about it we still got gifts. That part wasnt taken away so I guess it didn't seem like a prob. To me it's a part of Childhood, like everything else you will grow & learn - I'm sure it's not the only thing we "lie" to our Children about at a young age. I know someone who tells their little girl the music on the ice cream truck means they have run out of ice cream LOL...I don't see any harm. I don't think your child would get that upset about it that it would be a prob & I'd prob not like Charlie to find out at a young age from another kid, it's bad enough the older kids let it slip sometimes. We've just been to 2 Christmas parties & the fun & joy was meeting Santa, getting a pressie etc, but that's just me.

[lilima]

In the end it's completely up to you guys no one can tell you want you should and shouldn't do. It might pay to explain that some children believe in Santa and not to spoil their fun....but in the end all kids find out!

True, all children do end up finding out, but you don't want to spoil it for them until they are ready "not to believe"

I too, cannot remember being upset at all, and it was another child who spoilt it for me who's parents told her from kinder that Santa was not true.

Like Blue_hebe said, in the end, it is your decision what you want to tell your kids.

[Blixie]

So really everyone thinks kids should experience the "Santa" thing, it seems like a few people are getting a little defensive and i'm sorry if i offended or upset you in any way i was just wondering your opinion. I too think that kids need to be kids and part of being a kid is to believe in things that arent real or true.

But i also think christmas and Santa has become over commercialised and has no meaning except "GIMME GIMME GIMME" but... thats just my opinion.

Is there anyone who agrees with my DF's opint of view?

[Emma1979]

u can still have your kids believe in santa and make christmas what u think christmas should be about... santa can leave one gift, nothing over the top or commercial... its when the parents go nuts buying expensive toys that they maybe can't afford that i think the meaning of christmas goes missing...
i think it would be sad to not have your kids believe in santa but thats just my opinion. christmas is probably one of my most amazing childhood memories and santa played a big part in it. let them be kids, they are only small and innocent for such a very, very short time.

[Rouge]

Can't say I agree with your DF either. I wouldn't want my children to miss out on that kind of "magic" iykwim?

[Nelle]

We're not going to push the Santa thing with our kids. I really like my parent's approach, and dh and I are going to do something along those lines. Mum never brought Santa up, just let us hear about him at school, see him at the shopping centre - we're Christians, so we were very aware that Christmas was a celebration of Jesus' birth.

Then, one time we said to mum 'Is Santa real'? She said 'do you really want to know?' I'm pretty sure my sis said 'no actually, I don't want to know'. I said 'yes' she said 'what do you think'? I said that I didn't think he was real, and then I think she said something along the lines of how it's still fun to pretend, and not to ruin it for other kids.

So, she didn't lie to us about it, but also encouraged us to join in the spirit of that kind of thing, because it's fun. I remember being much older and mum warning us that if 'Santa' heard us say we didn't believe there'd be no presents.

So, I don't ever remember a time when I really believed in Santa, I was always a bit suspicious, but I do remember all the fun of Santa, laughing that Santa always requested we leave out food that dad liked. And I'm sure mum would have KILLED us if we'd ruined it for anyone else. KILLED us.
I do like the idea that mum and dad, while being very vague about many things, would always tell the truth when directly questioned. I don't think I've ever doubted their honesty. And maybe them lying about Santa wouldn't compromise that trust, but we didn't need to believe to still enjoy the story.

Hope that helps anyway, from some parents who are planning on vagueness and then honesty when directly questioned.

[~breeze~]

Sorry, I can't agree with your DF either. We are Catholic & celebrate the "true" meaning of Christmas, being Christs birth & our daughter is taught this too.

Don't get me wrong, she still knows who Santa is & she gets very excited when it comes to any of the commercialised Christmas things, whether it be santa, his "Ho ho ho" or any of the other fun things. But she also knows about "Baby Jesus" & why we celebrate Christmas. She has her Christmas stocking ready for Santa on Christmas Eve & we'll of course leave the food & drink out for him too. I think its great for parents too, seeing the excitement on your childs face when they see Santa is priceless!

I too have very fond memories from childhood & a huge part of that was Christmas. I still to this day get very excited coming up to Christmas as it's my favourite time of year. I actually annoy some people because I get so enthused haha (Just ask my DH, he told me today that me being so enthused makes him become more "Bah hunbug" every year haha... I hope he's joking LOL)

So my opinion is to let children enjoy being children, let them experience the magic of Santa. You can do this & keep things not so commercialised as suggested above... one small gift from Santa. I don't see the harm but I do think they would be missing out on alot if they were in the minority of Children who don't believe in Santa.

I also believe that Children who celebrate Christmas should also be told the true meaning for Christmas, being the birth of Christ, as without it there would be no such thing as Christmas.

As I said, thats just my opinion, I hope I haven't offended anyone because that wasn't my intention.

Good luck in making your decision

[dee73]

Jessey - I hope you didn't think I was sounding defensive - I was just being a bit tongue-in-cheek!

With ds we are talking a bit about santa just because he wants to know who the man in the red is at the shops, but we're making a bigger deal about the fact that Grandma and Grandpa are coming to stay, and all our other family will be here to so it will be like a big family party. We're not religious, but Christmas to us is simply having family around, so that's what we're emphasising.

In saying that, we will also have a santa sack with a few things in it (nothing over the top) and when it comes to Easter I'm sure we'll say the bunny is coming, and no doubt the tooth fairy will get a look in too in a few years. It's all a bit of fun, and when the time comes for him to ask us if it's real, then we'll fess up.

[Erin_25]

Only you guys can make this decision & if it's something you feel strongly about I'm sure you will do what feels right for you.

In regards to Children just wanting, I think that's something as parents we can avoid. As others have mentioned, teach the "real" meaning (if you are religious), focus on the joy of get together with family, sharing a great meal & don't spoil so much that they will want & want.

[lilima]

Jessey,
If I came across defensive I didn't mean to!
If you are Christian, then Christmas is very much a celebration of the birth of Christ. As our DS will be going to a Catholic primary school, plus we currently go to Catholic playgroup, I really believe that he will lean the true meaning of Christmas, as well as enjoying the excitement of Santa.
You really don't have to make up your mind this Christmas anyway, as bubba won't be here yet. So maybe wait until bubba is here, and then you can decide closer to Christmas next year.

[krysalyss]

Coming up to our first Xmas DH and I have the same issue. We decided we wouldnt do santa and were happy with that until my mum was so upset and aghast that we felt that we had to reassess (after all I love XMAS and loved the whole santa thing even way after I knew he was real). I think it really is a personal choice. After all there all a lot of people in Australia who don't celebrate xmas and therefore dont teach their kids about santa.
We have decided in the end that we will do the santa but will minimise the focus on presents and my husband can do a story about the christmas spirit (as we see it - family, helping others who are less well off etc). And we are going to start a tradition of buying a present for a child who may not get a pressie otherwise (eg. like Big W do each year).

[kungfubecca]

HI,

A Lot of people have spoken about the "magic" and I completely support this idea.

I think maybe look at the whole santa perspective from another angle. You can read a child a story and their mind can fill with all sorts of images and they are taken on a wonderful adventure as they live the story. Santa is very similar. By encouraging a child to not 'discover' their imagination who knows if it could be a good or bad thing.

As others have said it is your choice in the long run, I just know that I would like my children to experience the wonderment and excitement of believing.

[Nelle]

You're entirely right Rebecca! It's just that I wouldn't insist to my children that the books I read at bedtime are true, if they said 'that's not real is it mum?' I'd say nope, but what a great story!

Kids aren't toooo dumb, they can tell reality from fantasy, and are very good at suspending belief (what movies require us to do) - that's what pretend play is! So I don't think that I need to convince my kids of the reality of Santa for them to participate and pretend and still have a really great time with it. Does that make sense?