Saying 'Santa wont come if you're naughty'.

[Jellyfish]

Well my kids are the whirlwind types. No pedestal for me to climb on here.

lol OP! I had a nice little comfy pedestal with DD1. I now have a tornado whirlwind cyclonic tidal wave (especially that part, don't leave her alone with water unless you want things wet) DD2.

Though I wouldn't call her naughty, she isn't intentionally being a destructocon, she is just lively and busy and keen to explore and test and try and sometimes the results are not exactly what I'd like to deal with but I know she means well... most of the time. Plus I guess she isn't even 2.

And I still stand by my parenting 100%. Because it isn't about results, it is about being the kind of person I feel good being. I try not to let how my children are be about me, it is about them and who they are and that is their journey to figure out. As long as I am the kind of person I'd want my children to see as an example then I can feel like I've done my part. They are pretty incredible people so far But getting off topic.

As for the Santa thing, whilst I think it is important to follow through with what you say as being truthful, honest and trustworthy are attributes I wish to have and want to model for my children, I wouldn't do the Santa threat because firstly, I'm too excited about what my girls get so I couldn't follow through. Secondly, we try to stay away from labeling children naughty so that isn't something we even talk about in regards to Christmas. And lastly, I don't believe in the effectiveness of controlling children externally through arbitrary things generally which is what that would feel like to me (what happens when you lose the Santa card as children don't believe forever? Children need to learn to do what is 'right' because they feel it is right not for a secondary reason such as to avoid punishment or seek rewards). We once did tell DD1 that we were worried about her going to Grandma's house that afternoon as it could be dangerous for her not to listen (swimming) and what she was demonstrating was making it difficult to trust she would listen but I didn't see it as a threat, I was communicating a genuine concern as I really don't want a child around a pool if they are not prepared to listen. Still felt a little manipulative, I think I have some hangups about control as I hate feeling like I'm trying to control someone.

If my child said that to me I would think eek, they're onto me haha. I try not to say/do things I don't believe myself or couldn't convince myself of so I question things I do before I do them because if I don't, I know my kids will and that's a fast track for looking like a fool lol.

[JLeigh29]

I'm another on her pedestal...DS is, for the most part, pretty gosh darn good. But his parents, in particular his Mummy , are pretty gosh darn wonderful too...

DS figured out through listening to carols that Santa, 'sees you when you're sleeping etc and knows if you've been bad or good etc' and asked on his own what happens if you've been bad. We kind of had no choice but to say that Santa has been known not to come to chn who do a lot of naughty things, but we try to play it down. DS finds it fascinating though and has been asking for more details on what might constitute such an offence (today it was, 'Does Santa come to sick boys?').

Here, Santa only brings one gift, as we are a very lucky family with lots of people who love us and want to give us presents. We don't 'need' presents from Santa the way some other children do. We talk about the original Santa buying clothes and other necessities for children a long time ago.

I don't think I'd ever threaten that Santa won't come, but I know if I ever did, I'd follow through. It really irks me hearing parents threaten their kids and not follow through. The old, 'if you don't behave/stop doing such-and-such, we're going home!' is a whopper as a) it's negative b) non-specific about what behaviour is desired and c) the parent has no intention of actually doing it.

Certainty, not severity.