We do Secret Santa for the adults. Everyone writes thir name and a list f things they want, then we draw from a hat. Only rule is you can't get yourself or your partner. We pick a value, sometimes $10, sometimes $50, depends on the year.
The buyer can then get as many or as few things off the list as they want. Most of us make a bit of a sport out of squeezing as many gifts out of the fund allocation as possible.
One year BIL asked for a money tree, so I got a kids drawing of a tree and sticky taped 5c pieces to it. He also asked for dynamite, so I got him a candle with a homemade label that said "Slow Burning Dynamite" And the fly reel he wanted. It is ce fun.
We do the kids and my folks. For DH's adult relatives we do a secret Santa with a $120 limit.
Could you suggest to your DH doing a "stealing" kris kringle? Its lots of fun and limits your spend to what is affordable to all. Everyone biuys a gift to a predetermined value and wraps it. All names in a hat. Whoever is drawn out first chooses and unwraps a gift, and then draws the next name. That person has the option of choosing a gift and unwrapping it, or "stealing" the first person's already chosen and unwrapped one. If they steal, then the person whose present was stolen gets to either choose a new gift and unwrap it or steal someone else's unwrapped gift. The only rule is that you can't steal back your gift immediately (you can later though), and the game is over when the last gift is unwrapped. If you all get in the spirit its great fun and can last for ages. We've done it with everything from $20 gifts to $150 value
we did KK for a couple of years, and I hated it... not because I didn't get so much stuff... but because I really enjoy the looking around and giving to my family... okay... maybe sometimes I get it wrong, but I never look at a gift I've been given and complain about it... I think it's a shame I haven't used it, or I don't like it... I think I get more from my mum that is useless than anyone else.... my brother thinks it's cheaper to buy for just one.. but if there are two adults in each family, then essentially it's not that much cheaper than buying something smaller for each person... IMHO....
DH's family does joint presents for the couple AND KK... so we buy only one gift for all of them... but individual ones for the kids...
I think it's boring and takes away from the day... I love looking around and thinking about what my family might like...
I understand from both points of view, and I guess it has to be majority rules... if you 'win' then you are imposing your opinion onto them in what is essentially their family... (of which, of course you are now a part of... but...) I would never say anything to my mother in law about how I disagree with their tradition....
it must be frustrating to have such different views on the issue though... xxx
We do a combo now with DH's family - the 3 cousins used to be kids but they are all over 19 now so we now do a KK at around $30 and then we do a snatch and grab of $10-$15 which is SUPER fun!!!! Can't wait to do it this year! It's hard when people want to buy for everyone though - my family is like that, we were going to do a KK then decided that because there aren't that many of us. GOod luck though - maybe you can sell the snatch and grab idea! It's really fun!
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