Holidaying with a 13 month old - need some advice!

[Just Me]

I have to put a vote in the "I find holidays with kids difficult" camp, but this is probably mainly because we just came back from a weekend away with DS (just over 2), and I did NOT find it particularly relaxing. We went to the States when DS was 13 months old, so I have experience travelling with kids at that age too.

Its not that its not still enjoyable or worth going, because it is. As others have said, the change of scenery is great and its nice to relax during their naps and not be home where you see the twenty trillion things that you *should* be doing. And kids open your eyes to things you would never have seen before, and you delight in their view of the world and their reactions too. So there are definately good things.

But its very different from pre-baby holidays and I guess you just need to try to know what to expect so you can adjust yourself. For one thing, there are no sleep ins. I know this is part of daily life, but for some reason it is far more difficult on holidays. There are no restaurant meals unless your LO is really good in a high-chair (my 2 year old is NOT), so its having a kitchenette and still cooking yourself. Your activities have to be geared around your LO's naps (unless they are one of those wonder-kids who sleep in the pram or anywhere else), and you have to not have too many ins and outs of the car because it makes them CRANKY. But neither can you just hang around your hotel room because that makes them stir crazy. Car trips or flights which used to be a time to relax and catch up with your partner are now about trying to control, placate and continously feed your child. A lot of time is spent in playgrounds (although your LO may be a little too young for you to do this).

I guess on the whole, my previous experiences of holidays have been quite selfish- as holidays tend to be- its all about recharging yourself. But life with a child is an extended, unrelenting exercise in selflessness. And on holidays you REALLY feel this difference in a way you've adjusted to in daily life. Its not that kids are that much harder on holidays or travelling with them is hugely difficult (apart from the logistics of carrying half the house with you!), its just that you need to keep really giving at a time when you just want to relax.

So in future, I know that I need to look at holidays as a break from daily routine/ work and scenery and a chance to do new things with my little family. Relaxing and rejuvinating is something I need to, somehow, fit into normal life.

It gets easier when they get older, right.....? Please? (sorry for the negative tone, I am just a bit worn out from our holiday and probably used this as an excuse to vent- apologies for hijaking!)

I agree with what Amber says. We did a couple of holidays with our kids expecting things to be the same as before and it wasn't until we embraced the idea of making it about them and doing things that kept that happy that we really found we enjoyed holidays. I think our best holiday so far was to a resort on the Sunshine Coast last year. We had planned to go to the Gold Coast, but decided that theme parks was probably too much for them - they were too short to do most things and it would probably be a lot of them being stuck in the pram. We settled for the Sunshine Coast instead and were amazed by how much fun we had just doing things they liked.

My kids are best in the morning so we had a buffet b'fast at the resort whenever we were all up and dressed and headed straight out from there to make the most of the mornings. We did different things everyday - Strawberry picking, playing on the beach, Big Pineapple, Play Cafe, movies (we took them to see Ice Age 3 and it actually went really well even though they were only 2 & 1), Maze world, Aussie World. We only planned stuff until lunch time and after lunch we headed back to our room and put the kids to bed for an afternoon nap. DH and I had naps with them or watched a movie in our room so we still got our chill time and then we went and did the resort activities in the afternoon - sailing, swimming, beach play. After the afternoon activities we had baths (we had a spa so the kids thought it was the best thing ever) and went to dinner. A couple of times we had room service because the kids were too tired to venture into public but mostly we ate at the hotel restaurant because they had buffets which was so good for the kids - kids ate free and there was enough variety to give them something of a balanced diet.

I tend to be very organised about our holidays now and plan it so that we all have a rest in the afternoon which kind of compensates for not sleeping in. DH has always been big on breakfast on holidays and loves his buffets. It is something we haven't had to compromise either - we have just tried to be smart about how we do it. We pick places designed for families and found the staff in the restaurant very accommodating and we weren't the only ones there with toddlers and babies. They put us in an area where it didn't matter if food went all over the floor and the kids being unsettled didn't cause too much disruption to other people. The staff can make such a big difference to your experience as well.

We love our holidays and we are starting to get used to doing them differently to how we did them in our pre baby days. In many ways our holidays are far more special and exciting now than they were when it was just us. Showing our kids new things is such a thrill and spending time together as a whole family is wonderful. The kids are thrilled enough that DH doesn't have to go to work for a few days. Even the plane ride on our upcoming holiday will be such an adventure. We have taken DH to the airport twice in the last week for work and the more we go, the more excited DD1 and DS are getting about going on a plane. They have both been on planes a few times before, but I don't think they really remember so it is really exciting this time.

We have taken the kids to Sydney twice before so we have been looking through our photos of our last trips (DD1 was 15 months and 2 years the last times) and looking at all the different things we can go and do while we are there. She is pretty excited.

This is a bit of a side issue, but I turn our photos from things like holidays into story books for my kids when they get home and I have done it since they were babies. I just use a photo editing program to print some simple text across the bottom of a photo and print them out at Harvey Norman and stick them into a small $2 photo album. These are their favourite books - encourages literacy, helps them with their re-telling skills and it is an easy record for them of things we have done. I have quite a collection now of little books about things that we do. As they get older, I will start getting them to tell me what text to write and let them take their own photos. Once we start talking about our holidays, they get out the holiday books from other holidays so we have plenty of time to talk about everything that is going to happen.

I guess that is another point - I am really into preparing kids (even when they are still small) for everything that is going to happen. Even if they don't really understand, I tell them what is going to happen, how it is going to happen. I find my kids cope really well with most things and I can see the difference when I don't prepare them beforehand. I am amazed what they can understand from such a young age as well. If they know what we are doing and what they need to do beforehand, everything generally goes smoothly (nothing is fool proof and there are times that things flop still but it does make a huge difference overall).

[Taurean]

More awesome advice! It just keeps on coming!!

Amberj - no probs hon, vent away! Everything you've said makes perfect sense and I'd (surprisingly) thought of a lot of your points already. We had two weeks on the east coast in April (Vic and QLD) and although I had fun, I was a bit let down when we returned home. It wasn't really a holiday but that was partly due to the things we did and things I'd planned for us without considering how DD would fit in. She actually coped surprisingly well but I just felt a little let down. I think I'd secretly hoped it would be like the 'old days' and it wasn't, far from it.

In saying that, we did eat out most of the time and DD was brilliant. We spent a day at Sea World (and had a ball!) and Australia Zoo. I got to enjoy quite a few wines and several spa baths (on my own AND with DD) so all in all it was pretty good, just different.

I think that experience has helped me prepare for this next holiday. My favourite part of our first holiday with DD was the few days we spent in a stunning apartment in Caloundra. I felt quite relaxed and all three of really enjoyed our time there. That's why I've opted for a self contained apartment for this holiday. We can still go out for lunch or dinner if we choose (DD often joins us for dinner but we go out later so she sleeps in her pram) but we can easily stay in if that's easier. The place we've chosen has it's own private 8mtr plunge pool and alfresco area (the pool is fully fenced) so there is lots of room for DD to explore and we can relax by or in the pool while she sleeps. We can both enjoy a few drinks during the day and evening also as we will either stay in or walk out for lunch or dinner. That also takes away the problem of driving too much as we won't have a car. The place we are going to stay at is a 15 minute walk to Cable Beach so we'll get exercise and it will entertain DD at the same time. I think all the swimming and exploring a new place should help to enterain her and wear her out, hopefully!

We are also taking your advice JM and will take her trike so she can ride around too. I LOVE that idea!

I definitely have different expectations this time round and our trip in April was a good test run really. All your comments girls have been great too, it's made me think about it differently and I think we can still have a fun time and relax a little bit.

The only problem I have is the apartment doesn't have a bath. And I'm not thinking about DD, I want a bath!! Boohoo! Oh well, I guess the shower will have to do for me and I just spoke to the resort and they will supply baby baths to go on the floor of the shower for kids. If only they had a big adult sized bath, it would be 110% perfect then!!