We were thinking 4 nights in Bangkok which should give us enough time to see the grand palace, cruise up/down the river, maybe see the zoo and do a little bit of shopping
One of DF's friends lives in Pattaya, near Jomtien beach I think, so that's why we're heading there. They have 2 kids, one the same age as DD so we'll probably hang out quite a bit and I guess it will be like having our own tour guide. DF's parents haven't seen DD (except for skype) since she was 8 months old so we'll mostly just be spending time together because it'll probably be another year before we see them again.
Koh Samui sounds nice, I might just take you up on your offer
DH's Dad owns a bar in Pattaya and I went there and HATED it! I would have to say it is one of the most awful places I've ever been to. Such a shock... I couldn't believe it! You have friends there so that is good you'll have someone else around with kiddies....but we spent most of the time at FIL bar with him (and he has two little ones....sheesh) and it was boring and just dirty and gross. The whole sex scene of the place is eye opening....the lady boys, amazing. I also couldnt get out of my head that some old dudes might be looking at my kids in 'that' kinda way.... Been there, done that...happy to see the back of it!
BUT we did go to Thailand again, but stayed in Surin in Phuket....and it was awesome! Recommend it
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Been there, done that...happy to see the back of it! 
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