Driving over there is pretty straightforward, especially if you're not dealing with snow. Apart from fuel, though, there's also heaps of tolls in some parts.
In Grmany you can buy a BahnCard for something like €100 that then gives you 50%off all your train travel. Mine paid fr itself within two trips. Germany was one of my favourite places to travel, I think the whole country is unmissable! From Essen you could go in any direction pretty easily. Cologne is a nice city, you could do that and Paris and maybe somewhere in Belgium? And wherever you're going in Nederlands.
When is all this? Tour de France takes in that region this year...
If it were me I would just choose just 2 or max 3 cities in the same country - even in the same region of one country, and concentrate on them. Two nights is a minimum for me, in one place - any less and you just don't get to see much of anywhere - especially when you're on a budget. Trying to see three countries in 7 days would mean an awful lot of time (proportionally) spent on the routines of finding your hotel/guesthouse, checking in and out of rooms, getting to and fro train stations and airports, and actually being on transport.
Personally, I would choose Belgium, and spend 2 nights in Brussels, 2 nights in Ghent, 2 nights in Bruges, and do a day trip to one of the fabulous Belgian Monastic breweries in the countryside. You'll get history, architecture, castles, great food, great beer, great wine, beautiful scenery between the cities. English is really widely spoken, which makes things much easier if you don't speak any European languages. Really nice walking tours to be done in each city, or bike tours if you fancy that instead... the lambic brewery in Brussels is really interesting, there's a great little comic book museum (I'd only heard of Tin tin, before I went, and it was still interesting!) and when it all ends and you come home, you can feel like you've seen and done a reasonable amount in that country, and feel like you actually 'know' Belgium a bit.
I second the Romantic Road in Germany, it was beautiful, my DH drove it and he found it fine. Rothenberg is a Christmas Village and is just beautiful (on the Romantic Rd). I picked up lots of unique Christmas decorations from the Kathe Wolfharte shop and still have them 10yrs on.
Driving in Paris is an adventure. The Parisians drive like maniacs. Parking is a hitch. If you drive you need a hotel with parking and even then the space will be tiny. THE tolls add up if you travel a long way on the freeway. The B roads are free but slower. The autobahns are awesome fun if you eny driving fast. I love them. I even enjoy being overtaken if it's a Porsche going at top speed.. The German roadhouses are fabulous. They sell healthy fresh food
Munich is a MUST. And make sure you go to the Hofbrau Haus. We didnt spend nearly enough time in Munich, but Germany itself is just amazing; we could have spent weeks there. I wasnt a fan of Paris at all but I did the touristy things. Driving in Paris is definitely an experience but the autobahns are fine. We went to Amsterdam but I wasnt impressed (could have been due to NYE holiday). The outer towns in the Netherlands would be amazing I think, we just passed through but I saw so many places I wished we could stop and explore.
one thing i forgot to say about amsterdam is that if you do go, try & avoid a weekend. you get heaps of not just tourists but bucks & hens weekends which can be annoying.
Hmmmmm you have all given me a whole heap to think about. I have decided to drop the Netherlands. I actually have quite a bit of family there and think I might get too caught up in visiting everyone rather than seeing sights. And I have been there before. So I am going to do a few nights in Germany and a few in France. IF (a big IF) my funding comes through as it is all dependent on that. I would love to do a walking or biking tour and definitely want to take in as many natural sights as possible as am a big fan of mountains and forests. I just heard back from an old school friend who will have an apartment in Paris and Cologne by the time I go and has offered a bed in either city so that is great! Thanks everyone for the tips, and will check out the Bahn card. You are all awesome!
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I would love to do a walking or biking tour and definitely want to take in as many natural sights as possible as am a big fan of mountains and forests. 
I just heard back from an old school friend who will have an apartment in Paris and Cologne by the time I go and has offered a bed in either city so that is great! Thanks everyone for the tips, and will check out the Bahn card. You are all awesome!
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