AFAIK - your side of the fence, your concern and your job. His side of the fence, his concern. What you both either have or don't have against the fence is not the domain of the other until it crosses the fence line.
So if you have a sleeper/retainer on your side of the fence and it happens to touch the fence and he doesn't like that, well tough. And the same would work in the reverse.
I think you need to sit down with him and get some things down on paper. Get to exactly what his concerns are etc, but at the end of the day, if it isn't practical to move fence posts, gardens, water metres and pipes, then he is just going to have to get over it.
Sounds like a right PITA. I would be very interested with getting something you both agree to in writing and signed so if it does go pear-shaped you have something to fall back on. Good luck! Oh, give CAB a call too, they might be able to help with advice.
The fence goes on the fenceline. If he wants it moved, he can put it on his side but not on yours if you don't agree. And a retaining wall on the fenceline is actually the downhill side's responsibility. At least in our council area it is as we have had this problem being on the low side and the wall/fence was starting to lean towards our house. We had to fix the retaining wall ourselves but the fence was joint.
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