I have to say, I think it is odd that their would be trouble amongst siblings over it. I guess I am close to my brother because I've never felt that way even when he was bought a car during highschool to help him get to and from his work. I didn't get offered a car till 5 years later when I was pregnant with DD1. It made sense, I didn't need one before then! Same with him living there rent and bill free, it doesn't bother me and I'm sure it doesn't bother him that my parents help us out between rentals (paying the new bond while we wait for the old one) or helping with Obstitrican fees etc. Different needs and all that. I love my brother, I only want the best for him and I can't say I've ever bothered trying to work out who is getting "more" from our parents lol.
it really depends on the relationship between siblings - and between parents and kids. my brother has a very strong "it should be equal, down the line" attitude - and always has. he was jealous that my folks helped me move interstate for uni (i couldn't get a license at the time due to age) - because he got nothing in return. he had dropped out of school and expected the finances my family put into getting me to uni (i supported myself while there) to be repaid to him in kind. he again got jealous when DH and I were getting married and doing things different to them, because he BELIEVED mum and dad were helping more than they helped them (we paid the whole lot ourselves!)

at christmas, mum and dad have to spend the same on all four grandkids. they do it to within dollars. they work out presents so that everyone has the same number of parcels under the tree so there is no angst.

unfortunately, that attitude to things isn't uncommon in families


as to whether i would or wouldn't accept - i have, and would - provided it wasn't going to leave the person in anyway short or disadvantage them. mum and i have helped each other out lots of times - i'll pay for something today, she'll fix me up next week. or vice verse. i've also done the same with friends. even my grandparents - they loaned me a decent amount of money, which i paid back over a period of time (with interest) - it was their investment kwim?

it sounds like the mum in the OP is perhaps looking at downsizing (my parents have mentioned it too) so that they don't have as much responsibility - and putting the OP in there is better than sellign - they get to hold onto the house etc. i would - but i'd make sure there was a lease in place to cover everyone. just because someone is family, doesn't mean things can't go wrong (trust me!)